


Red shirt, blue shirt, no shirt

by HelenaHelena



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Body Modification, M/M, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Pregnancy complications, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22224643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenaHelena/pseuds/HelenaHelena
Summary: Pike survives after “into Darkness” and takes over the Enterprise as her new captain. Unfortunately, Kirk turns out to be more complicated as a first officer than anticipated.Firstly, because he keeps being a nuisance, secondly because he keeps showing up at Pike’s quarters for sex, and thirdly because he manages to get himself pregnant three weeks into the mission.Contains Mpreg - not your thing? Please do not read.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Christopher Pike
Comments: 3
Kudos: 81





	Red shirt, blue shirt, no shirt

**Author's Note:**

> Please read warning: Contain explicit sex. Contains Mpreg. Contains explicit medical problems.
> 
> Contains discussions on cancer, abortions, infant death (discussions only).

Kirk was unhappy, not that captain Pike cared. Not really. All of this was the former captain’s own doing. _Kirk_ was the one that had not lived up to the responsibility given to him. _Kirk_ had been the one that had broken the prime directive. _Kirk_ was the one that had almost gotten Spock killed. No one else!

Kirk - a fresh breath to Starfleet, more like a hurricane. Pike had used quit a few favours to even get Kirk on board the Enterprise again. Fortunately, Pike had full autonomy of the rank of his officers. And what did he get for saving Kirk from a year more at the academy and a demotion to ensign? He got insubordination and attitude.

And now after three weeks out, Pike was beginning to regret his eagerness to have Kirk as first officer. Spock had agreed to stay on as science officer. Even if he initially had been offered a better position on another ship. Spock had not been demoted and he had not done anything wrong for that matter. His only wrongdoing, being possible failing to hold Kirk in check.

It has not taken long for Pike to suspect that it might not possible to hold Kirk in check at all. Furthermore, Kirk had demonstrated quite clearly that he held Pike responsible for everything. Now after three weeks into their five-year mission, Pike just wished he could find somewhere to maroon his first officer. Maybe, he should get some tips from Spock.

They could pick him up on the way back in five years.

And while Pike welcomed an open work atmosphere, there was such a thing as too open. Kirk leaned over the conference table in apparent boredom. At this point, he was not doing anything to abide to the command structures at all.

‘Is running the ship boring you, Kirk?‘ Pike asked him in a warning tone.

‘Sir, come on, we have been looking at planet geographic for like five hours. Shouldn’t Spock do that?‘ Kirk placed both his elbows on the table. They were planning an away-mission; to a previously unexplored planet. What did Kirk intend to do? Just beam down there and see what would happen?

‘Two hours and fourteen minutes,’ Pike informed him. Kirk should consider it a service announcement.

‘You are as bad as Spock,‘ Kirk moaned.

‘If you would prefer him being my second in command that can be arranged,’ Pike said acidly. That was also a service announcement. 

Kirk rolled his eyes, visibly.

‘If you think you can manage without being bored; could I task you with finding three suitable officers that can join us on this away-mission? Or should I get Spock to do that as well?’

Kirk got up.

‘Of course, sir.’ Kirk’s voice was laced with insubordination. 

‘Am I dismissed?’ He mocked. Pike waved his hand towards Kirk dismissively.

…And Kirk finally left.

Pike rubbed his temples; why had he done this to himself? To have Kirk as first officer was just plain self-torture.

The away-mission was an observe- and sample mission; and it did not go according to plan. At least not the plan Pike had made. Kirk, Pike had to wonder, appeared to not have been aware that there had been a plan to begin with at all. On the other hand, it appeared that Pike had done the observing, and he was pretty certain that Kirk had done the sampling.

Sampling should have consisted of taking soil samples; however, it did appear that Kirk’s loose interpretation of sampling had not involved soil samples at all. Kirk appeared mostly to have sampled the female population.

The rest of the away-mission crew had been busy. They had tried to find a cure to save crewman Buchner, who had wandered off alone and gotten himself poisoned by a plant. Not Kirk though, God knows where he had been.

‘I think that went rather well,’ Kirk said happily in their debriefing meeting.

Kirk would think that, wouldn’t he? But then again he hadn’t been the one that had been testing five hundred different plant samples to find the one that had poisoned the crewman.

‘I beg your pardon, commander?’ Pike asked in disbelief.

How Kirk had run a spaceship was beyond him.

‘Well, doctor McCoy was able to find a cure for those plants and…’ Kirk said, at least slightly less confidently than before.

‘That is not what I meant,’ Pike snapped, and pulled his hands up in resignation. Kirk pursed his lips in defiance: ‘What more do you want? Sir?’ He asked angrily.

‘If you could just keep it in your pants for once, Kirk.’ Pike gave up. Kirk stopped to think a moment.

‘You think that I had sex with the…’ ...Blue-haired big-breasted eighteen-year-old female in a bikini you disappeared of with for two hours? Yes, that was definitely what he thought.

Pike gave him a stern look.

It didn’t sit well with Kirk. ‘I didn’t. But you wouldn’t believe me.‘ The commander got up. No, Pike didn’t believe him. Did Kirk think he was stupid?

He gave Kirk a stare.

‘Okay, I may have kissed her, but it didn’t mean anything, and she…‘

‘Damn it, Kirk.’ Pike rolled his eyes, and got up to leave as well.

‘Where are you going, sir?’ Kirk asked; he didn’t reply.

‘This discussion is futile,’ he said instead.

* * *

Of course, Kirk couldn’t let the discussion go, it was half past eleven, when he decided that he wanted it continued in Pike’s quarters.

Pike was wearing his night clothes when he opened the door. Outside was the last person he wanted to see.

‘What do you want, Kirk?’ the captain asked, ready to close the door in Kirk’s face.

‘I am your first officer; can’t I just come by?' Pike gritted his teeth and indicated that Kirk could come in.

‘Make it fast.’

Kirk gave him a self-confident grin and made what could be described as suggestive eyes.

‘I can both do it fast and slow, sir,’ he said.

Pike seriously hoped that Kirk was not making those eyes to other members of the crew, it was bordering sexual harassment.

‘I didn’t even want to have sex with Shalena,‘ Kirk admitted. Her name was Shalena? Oh, that was nice. Pike thought to himself, he hadn’t needed to know her name.

‘Kirk, can’t this wait until the morning?‘ This discussion was really unnecessary, and he wanted to get to bed. He also really didn’t need to know anything about Kirk’s sex-life.

‘No, sir, I don’t think it can,‘ Kirk said and moved his body closer to Pike.

‘And why is that?’ He didn’t know where this was going, and he hoped that he could get Kirk out of his private quarters without incident.

‘Are you jealous?‘ Kirk asked and moved even closer into his personal space. Confused, Pike stood frozen for a moment; Kirk’s face was mere inches from him.

That was a strange thing to ask. Why would he be jealous? On Kirk or on the woman? He didn’t understand the question. Kirk locked with his eyes, communicating his intend. Kirk was not subtle.

This was definitely not about Shalena, he realised.

Pike must have had it written all over his face; the weakness. He could feel the heat that radiated from Kirk’s warm body as the distance between them disappeared, and Kirk kissed him softly on the mouth.

Kirk moved a hand to Pike’s face. He gently caressed the stubbles. A vulnerability was hidden in that kiss. Pike could feel his heart rate speed up. He kissed back, tentatively.

Before Pike finally made it stop; he pushed the younger man away. The kiss had gone on far longer than he liked.

‘Kirk, what are you doing?‘ Pike asked coming to his senses. His brain kept avoiding conclusions on what had just happened.

This was Kirk: the hurricane.

This whole thing was poor judgement from the both of them. His reluctance, however, did not discourage Kirk sufficiently. Pike made a mental note that he needed to have a discussion about boundaries with Kirk as well. Kirk could possible see right through him, however. His own treacherous lower parts protested his brain.

He wanted to push Kirk out. But the commander tried to move towards him again.

‘Kirk, we are not doing this,‘ Pike said desperately. Kirk slit a hand towards the before-mentioned parts. Pike moved to stop it; but hesitated as Kirk’s kissed him once more, this time with partly open mouth, sucking at his lips. He found himself unable to stop anything.

The young man’s hard body pushed towards him, it was pure muscle and sunshine. The kiss was sweet and soft. He was almost distracted to ignore that this was Kirk.

A moment after, he decided that they were definitely doing this.

Kirk moved a hand inside Pike’s pants. The other hand moved upwards under his shirt.

‘I want you to fuck me, captain,’ Kirk whispered into his ear. Kirk’s warm smell filled him, and his soft hand had found its way to Pike’s half hard erection. Pike tried to not make a sound. Blood flushed his cheeks as Kirk’s warm fingers closed around him.

He was desperately trying to work out why Kirk was doing this. He found himself coming up with nothing. His body was uncooperative, and he kept thinking that he should order Kirk to leave.

But at this point Pike didn’t care. He closed his eyes and pretended that he was not a star fleet captain and Kirk was not his first officer. For a short while, Pike could live with that.

In his fevered state, he pushed Kirk even further into the room towards his bed. The crammed space had turned too warm and uncomfortable. Kirk had the audacity to not even look surprised when Pike hungrily unzipped his uniform shirt and pulled it off.

Kirk gave him more of a grin and pulled Pike’s nightshirt over his head and devoured his naked upper body with his eyes. It made him feel less compared to Kirk’s well-trained tanned abs. Kirk was flushed too, his smooth toned body raised the temperature in the room.

Pike kissed him this time, before Kirk would think better of this whole situation. Kirk let out a hungry moan, and clearly eager as he was wrestled himself out of his uniform pants and underwear.

Pike moved to Kirk’s neck. He forcefully kissed it and began sucking hard on the sensitive spot. He felt desire and want in devouring the sweet salty skin while he held Kirk’s head in place with the other hand.

He held a firm grip on the edge of the soft blond hair, and he didn’t care that he was probably leaving marks. He could feel Kirk’s hard erection towards his leg. He resolutely stepped out of his own pants and pushed Kirk even harder towards the bed. He moved the other man around, before he let a hand slide down Kirk’s back and stopped at the firm buttocks.

Kirk let out a needy sound, feverish. Pike waited for a moment; he was not going to do this unless they agreed.

‘James, are you sure about this?‘ He tried to sound serious. And he hoping that Kirk was coherent enough to think about what he was consenting to. On purpose he used Kirk’s first name.

Kirk moved an arm behind him, reaching for Pike’s arm, reassuring.

‘Yeah, I am sure,‘ he said. Pike let him go and moved away.

‘Where are you going?‘ Kirk asked desperately. ’I am getting the lube,‘ Pike explained and hoped that the small break would ensure that Kirk got a different chance to say no.

Kirk rolled to his back grinning towards him. As Pike returned, Kirk took a grip on Pike’s wrist and pulled him on top. He kissed him open-mouthed and desperate. The warm hard body under him radiated desire and it made Pike tremble slightly.

‘Stop being nervous, Christopher,’ Kirk said and stroked Pike’s sideburn. Pike was nervous, and he hated that it was obvious.

Strangely enough, it appeared that Kirk expected him to take the lead. For once he would have wished that Kirk would have led on.

With shaking hands, Pike put a generous amount of lube on his fingers before he moved his hand towards Kirk’s hole. The young man opened his mouth in pleasure and surprise as he was filled. He stroked Kirk’s member with the other hand.

Kirk gasped as Pike added another finger, massaging his prostate, trying to make the opening bigger. Kirk was surprisingly tight. He was worried that he would be unable to get inside with anything else than fingers. He applied a bit of lube to himself and stroked; he was quickly getting hard.

He pushed himself on top of Kirk again and trailed a kiss across the young man’s chest. Pike hovered over him and Kirk gasped in pleasure and pushed his head backwards, eyes half closed.

‘Why do you keep hesitated, are you regretting already?’ Kirk grinned.

‘No,’ Pike said seriously.

‘Then do it already.‘

Pike sighed; Kirk was too impatient. The other man was not ready, if he was going to do it now, Kirk would get injured.

‘James, you need to relax there.’ Pike showed what he meant with his hands at Kirk’s way too tight opening. Kirk was trying to for once do what he was told. It was still going to be tight.

‘I am ready, just do it,‘ Kirk urged even more desperately. Pike sighed; he would have preferred more preparation, but somehow he was not surprised that Kirk would rather have a little discomfort and get to the action sooner.

He removed his fingers, which made Kirk respond with a dissatisfied grunt.

He pushed himself inside Kirk, and gasped as he was buried inside the other man. It was extremely tight, and pleasure at being connected to his beautiful second in command filled him.

Kirk made a half-pleasured gasp, half surprised. It might also hurt, especially if he hadn’t done this in a while. How unlikely Pike found that to be.

He slowly moved in and out as he touched Kirk’s erection. The young man was hard, and he stroked him while pushing into the young man again. Kirks hand moved to put his hand on top of Pike’s, the other hand held on to Pike’s upper arm.

He was probably going to regret it. Was he regretting this at the moment? No, definitely not! Kirk was coming hard all over them, as Pike came un-done. He finished too, still deep inside his first officer.

Pike collapsed on top of Kirk, and touched the side of the young man’s face in a sweaty kiss. Pearls of sweat ran down his forehead. Kirk moved his hand to run his fingers through Pike’s hair.

Prompting Pike to finally realize how wrong this was.

Regret came too fast.

He couldn’t help but feel a little bad for Kirk’s disappointed expression when he quickly got up.

‘This was a mistake, Kirk.’ And without waiting for Kirk to answer, he went for the refresher and locked the door.

Pike drew a sharp intake of breath as he finally let the water wash any evidence of Kirk away. The remains of adrenaline and want had transformed into a hard lump in the pit of his stomach.

He was fairly certain that he could hear Kirk leave. This was so messed up. He had just fucked his XO. Something, which there absolutely was no excuse for.

He could blame no one but himself. Allowing Kirk to use him to blow of some steam.

It was pretty clear what had happened on that away-mission, for reasons unknown, Kirk hadn’t gotten laid, and now he had for some inexplicit reasons decided that having sex with his commanding officer was the best solution.

Well, it wasn’t.

* * *

Kirk could feel his heart fall to the floor and be shattered into a million pieces when he pulled on his clothes. He needed a shower and it was obvious that he was not invited into Pike’s.

He was also getting extremely sore in his anal area. Pike had been bigger than he had thought. He had thought that anal would be the same as vaginal sex. He must really have seemed inexperienced.

He was sticky and dirty and he needed to use the bathroom. On the other hand, he also needed to be gone when Pike returned from the shower.

The captain had made that very clear.

Kirk felt nauseous and unhappy. He had wanted Pike so much. And he had thought that somehow if they had sex, the other man would love him back. He should of course have known at this point that things didn’t work like that.

Fortunately, Kirk didn’t meet anyone on the way back to his quarters. And he could feel shameful tears run down his face. His whole body shook as he emptied his stomach into the toilet. He sat next to it and dry heaved for a moment before finally getting enough strength for a shower.

Damn this.

He frantically washed himself, removing semen, blood, filth from the act. So much he was leaving red scrub marks on his skin.

His stomach hurt. For years it felt like they had built up to this, the rejection by Pike burned so much more. His neck was bruised where Pike had sucked. A reminder of what he couldn’t have.

He threw up again, before he crawled into bed. And tried to suppress his sobs with the duvet.

Kirk began alpha shift by going to the sickbay. Initially, he had decided that he would value his pride more than the burning sensation in his stomach and other places. But as it got worse, he changed his mind. It might be a ruptured appendix.

Even if it was the first time he had had anal sex or intercourse with someone who identified himself as male, he was pretty certain that the discomfort was more than was expected. And he appreciated, despite everything, that captain Pike had tried to be careful with him.

‘What’s up, Jim?’ Bones asked from the desk in his office. ‘Ehm, Bones, could you… ehm, I need to talk to you.’ He said and looked around to make sure that they were alone.

He normally never had any problems with talking about his sex life with Bones or anyone else for that matter. It had reached a point, where he suspected that Bones found him oversharing and annoying.

This was different.

Bones apparently hadn’t noticed the hickeys, angry and purple on his neck, before now. ‘If you want me to remove those before the captain sees them, it ain’t gonna happen, kid,’ McCoy said.

A safe bet would be that the captain was aware of the hickeys.

‘I used the entire afternoon synthesising antidotes because you selected the most idiotic crew-members for that mission.’ Crewman Buchner probably shouldn’t have eaten that plant, but Kirk failed to see how that was his fault. And he really felt sick. ‘It’s not that. I’m…’ He stumbled and almost lost his balance.

Bones caught him, and lowered him onto a chair. At this point, he couldn’t sit down. ‘I need to lay down,’ Kirk complained; the burning pain in his abdomen and elsewhere was becoming unbearable.

McCoy helped him up again. ‘Not on the floor, biobed,’ the doctor ordered, and ushered Kirk into the sickbay’s private room. The doctor pulled out a tricorder, and turned on the biobed.

‘Jim, relax. I am going to remove your uniform.’ He said; uncharacteristically nice. Comforting words from Bones tended to prelude doom.

‘Did you participate in sexual penetrative activities yesterday?’ McCoy asked him as if he was asking about his favourite colour. He nodded. At this point, denial was probably not going to work on Bones.

‘Is this because of that? Because I don’t…’

‘Don’t worry, kid, no, it isn’t, you have some minor bruising that is not consistent with the rest.’ Pain rippled through him again. He felt lightheaded.

‘Did you drink or eat anything on the away-mission?’ McCoy asked suspiciously, while he slid Kirk’s undershirt up. McCoy put a warm hand on his abdomen. The doctor pressed hard; he was searching for something with his hands.

Come to think of it, he had been given something to drink in that temple. The temple where Shalena had taken him.

Kirk nodded.

His stomach cramped again, and he was going to vomit. It looked like Bones had anticipated that; he let Kirk’s stomach go and helped him roll to the side.

Kirk felt like he was dying. He was certain that he had been poisoned like crewman Buchner.

His stomach cramped again, and he spat out bile. For once he was grateful for the hypo-spray, which Bones shot into his neck. Immediate relief followed. And he could roll to his back.

He got a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and a blanket from McCoy. The doctor looked like a man with bad news, however.

‘Bones?’ Kirk asked, at least he was well enough to talk again. Bones took a seat next to him. ‘Did I get poisoned too?’

McCoy sighed; he was looking at his PADD. ‘You found an antidote for that, right?’ Kirk continued desperately. McCoy didn’t confirm, ‘But it is something from that planet?’ Kirk asked. ‘In a manner of speaking,’ McCoy slowly said. Why did McCoy’s answers always come in riddle-form?

The doctor hesitated for a moment before he continued: ‘It looks like, you have something growing in your abdomen.’ The doctor finally admitted. ‘Like cancer or a parasite?’ Kirk asked; not certain what he preferred at this point, what could most easily be removed, he supposed.

Bones shock his head. ‘No, it’s more like an organ.’ Kirk was confused at this point. ‘So, a parasite?’ Kirk guessed. McCoy shock his head. ‘It only consists of your DNA; it is a bit early to be certain.’ ‘So, it is cancer?’ Kirk asked, McCoy shock his head.

‘No, I don’t think so, it has none of the characteristics of cancer, I think it is a uterus.’ McCoy finally said. This was ridiculous. Kirk tried to get up, before he realised that he was only surviving on the painkiller from the hypo-spray, and sank back onto the biobed.

‘Honestly Bones, my DNA is pretty much all male, I don’t…’ ‘All human DNA is encoded with female reproductive organs.’ McCoy said defensively.

Kirk couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. Realising that he had accepted that this was not a prank and that McCoy was telling him the truth, he tried to come up with solutions.

‘Can’t you just remove it then?’ He asked hopefully; preferably before alpha shift, so Kirk could avoid dealing with both this and captain Pike.

‘It is not that simple, once it is fully formed, maybe. But if I try to remove it before, it will probably just grow back,’ Bones said while he helped Kirk to sit up.

‘We use a similar technology for organs, which the body can live without while they are regrown, like kidneys.’ Kirk didn’t listen to the ramble on fascinating medical technology, he was more anxious that this might mean that he couldn’t make it to his shift. And that captain Pike would have to be informed.

‘How long will it take before it can be removed?’ He asked, hopefully within a couple of hours. ‘My estimate would be five to six weeks.’ Bones said.

Kirk flew up, a little fast, the painkiller did not work well enough for such a sudden movement.

‘That’s…’ He stopped ‘That’s not acceptable,’ Kirk finally said. Bones at least looked sympathetic.

‘Sorry, Jim.’ And padded him on the arm. ‘You should be able to return to duty within a day or two.’ Kirk nodded weakly, no chance of him showing up to alpha shift then. He wondered what captain Pike would do. Would he think that Kirk was too ashamed to show up?

‘Bones, could you perhaps come up with some plausible explanation when you report me sick?’ He asked.

‘You want me to lie? Why?’ Bones asked suspiciously. Pike was going to be so pissed with him. More than he already was.

Because Kirk was not certain that he could handle any more disapproving frowns from the captain today. The crewman Buchner poisoning had warranted a: ‘Shouldn’t you have informed them that only toddlers put unknown things in their mouths?’

He couldn’t imagine how Pike would react if he knew that Kirk was growing a uterus because he had drunk an unknown beverage on the away-mission.

Kirk rolled back on the biobed, still uncomfortable. ‘I am just not in the mood to have captain Pike berate me on the irresponsibility of drinking unknown substances and having sexual encounters with aliens.’ Bones rolled his eyes.

‘Actually, you should really be careful with the sexual…’ Kirk cut him off with a glare.

‘Fine, but being on unfriendly terms with captain Pike is a bad idea.’ Too late for that, and Kirk already knew that it was. He deflected Bones with a with frown. The last thing he needed at this point was a lecture from Bones as well. The reproachful look Pike had given him after their sex was enough. He felt so bad that he wanted to punch something.

He also wanted Pike so bad, and he it had made a mess of it.

Fortunately, captain Pike did not poke in the fact that Kirk had had been off sick with spinach allergy. Was that even a thing? Kirk didn’t know.

Kirk collected all the energy he had to return to the bridge for alpha shift the following day. For once, he reported for duty before the captain.

For a moment he pretended that he was the captain again. ‘Report,’ he asked Sulu, who had had the comm for gamma shift.

‘Nothing to report commander, all systems normal, reports from all departments normal.’ Kirk nodded, doing a quick round on the bridge, while the bridge crew for alpha shift reported in.

Captain Pike came later than the rest, but Kirk had quickly found out, he usually replied to messages and did errands before alpha shift, and thus usually waiting to turn up on the bridge until exactly at 0700 when the shift began.

Kirk stood up from the chair, faster than normal. ‘Captain on the bridge.’ Uhura reported. Kirk wondered if Pike took any notice that he had gotten up faster than usual. Or even took it as anything.

‘At ease, gentlemen,’ Pike said, he was all business. He nodded to Kirk as if nothing had happened. Kirk took the tactical station. ‘Captain,’ he greeted and pretended that everything was normal too.

‘Kirk, are you clear for duty?’ He asked, Kirk would have liked that the older man had been worried about him especially. But he knew that Pike was like that to everyone.

‘Yes, sir,’ Kirk gave him a strained smile. And he definitely wanted to run somewhere and hide. It was pure torture that he would have to endure an entire shift with the captain.

He would have liked that his attraction to the other man had become less after the obvious rejection, but he still felt his knees going weak at the well-trained figure, and the smile.

Pike must have realised that something was up, or else he was also uncomfortable with the casual encounter they had had.

To Kirk’s great relief, captain Pike chose to go to the ready room half-way through the shift.

* * *

Pike hated the aftermath of his impromptu encounter with Kirk. It was difficult to shake the feeling that he had messed up. And it was not a good sign that Kirk had reported sick the following day. Kirk had even come up with some ridiculous excuse. Sent via doctor McCoy.

He was somewhat aware that he had acted as an asshole afterwards. But their encounter had just been so badly timed, and so inappropriate, that there had been nothing else to do.

Sex was not against regulation, and since it had most definitely had been Kirk that had instigated the encounter, it did not count as abuse of power. Pike, however, did feel he had abused his position, and he felt bad about that.

At least, he was fairly certain the encounter had not meant anything to Kirk. It was most likely one of many, and he had been used as an outlet.

The awkwardness, Pike felt did not appeared to be shared by Kirk though. It looked like Kirk was back to his own cocky self; which was being annoying and flirting with everyone and everything. Sometimes at the same time.

The worst part was that since their encounter, Pike couldn’t help but get a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach every time, Kirk flashed that insufferable smile, or leaned over a console to reveal his well-trained ass.

It had been one of those shifts. And Pike was getting more and more frustrated. He had on that account, asked Spock for a training session. Spock was well-versed in hand to hand combat and sparring with him was always a challenge. He would also think that a good beating would knock every bit of lust out of him.

As Pike arrived at gym two, however, Spock was already there and of course he has sparring with Kirk. From the looks of it, it had been going on for some time. Kirk was only in a black tank top; it was drenched in sweat. He was wearing tight training pants and had bare feet.

Spock was wearing ditto, but was less flustered. As Pike entered Kirk was jumping Spock, throwing him to the ground in a shoulder throw. Spock reversed and they were both pulled to the ground. They rolled before Spock fixed Kirk in an arm lock.

They both stopped as they saw Pike enter and stood up. ‘Captain Pike, sir, Commander Kirk and I were just finished.’ Kirk smiled at him, the glistering tanned arms of his second in command was feeling like the most tantalising thing he had ever seen.

Kirk took a look at Spock. ‘Yeah, I’m leaving. Have a good training,’ he said and went for his water bottle and towel on the bench next to the wall. Besides the sweating, he looked to be in slight pain.

Instead of moving towards Spock, Pike went over to where Kirk stood. ‘Jim, is something the matter?’ He asked. The commander had gone pale, as he stared at Pike. His instincts told him that he needed to back off to not do anything Kirk felt as inappropriate, but he was worried.

‘I am fine,’ Kirk snapped; he moved a hand to his mouth and his body cramped. Kirk moved quickly to the training room sink and vomited into it. Pike exchanged a worried look with Spock before they both helped Kirk to sit down on the floor. The young man wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Pike handed Kirk the water. ‘Here, drink a little.’ Kirk nodded and gratefully accepted it.

Kirk locking eyes with Pike, grateful, it made him feel weak. He wanted to caress the young man’s face. But of course, he had done that once, and it hadn’t gone well. There was no reason the repeat that disaster.

‘Jim, you should go to sickbay now.’ Kirk looked surprised by the use of his nickname. ‘Captain.’ He said with some distance. ‘I do not believe that is necessary at this point.’ Pike did not agree but he couldn’t force Kirk to go. It was clear that his comfort or closeness was not appreciated.

Pike looked towards Spock. ‘Could you follow commander Kirk back to his quarters, we can postpone our sparing match to another day.’ Spock nodded. ‘Yes, captain,’ Spock peeled Kirk of the floor and dragged him along.

Pike regretted not having taken Kirk to his quarters or to sickbay himself. He decided to go check up on him. Justifying himself with the fact that this was his first officer, and that he would have done the same thing to Una or Spock, who had served as his first officers as well.

Truth be told, he would not have been nearly as nervous if it had been any of them.

Kirk looked up, almost getting up from the chair he was sitting in. A little startled at seeing him. ‘Captain, what are you doing here, I was expecting that it was Bones?’ Pike touched his neck. Yes, what was he doing here?

‘Ehm, sorry, I am intruding.’ Pike stated the obvious.

‘I just wanted to see how you were.’ Pike continued, and decided to move into the room, since Kirk had not actually kicked him out.

‘That is nice of you. I sent you the maintenance report of deck 17, did you get it?’ No, Pike had not checked his messages. ‘No, is something wrong with deck 17?’ He asked alarmed. ‘Ehm, maybe, ehm an airlock might have been activated.’ ‘Excuse me?’ Pike said in disbelief.

This was a level 4 incident. This was not a mail the captain and hope he sees it at some point incident.

‘An airlock? And you just wrote me a message with this information. Has deck 17 been sealed off?’ Pike asked in disbelief, for a moment he forgot why he had gone to Kirk’s quarters to begin with. ‘Relax, yes it has, no-one was injured, I sent Spock to assign new quarters for the affected crewmen.’ Kirk made a casual hand movement.

Pike was absolutely not going to relax. ‘Who activated it?’ ‘Oh, I think it was done remotely, some ensign or something, don’t worry.’

This was something that was not supposed to happen. This was something that needed to be reported. And Kirk didn’t even know the names of the persons involved. People could get seriously injured.

And Kirk hadn’t any idea. Maybe he wasn’t really XO material, and why hadn’t Spock kept Pike informed?

‘Kirk, this is simply not acceptable, why didn’t you inform me immediately?’ Kirk shrugged. ‘Spock and I have everything under control.’

‘I thought he was supposed to follow you back to your room and…’ Pike made a resigning gesture; this entire senior staff was impossible. Kirk looked better though; he had wanted to hear whether the young man was okay. That made him feel less guilty in becoming so agitated. ‘Well, I am fine now.’ Kirk said defensively. ‘All right.’ Pike said and rolled his eyes.

It became apparent during the next days that Kirk was absolutely not fine. He looked pale in the morning, and had begun to be late for alpha shift. He was not just late; he was hours late.

He showed up at 9.30, and nodded uncharacteristic apologetic while he sneaked to his station on the bridge. ‘Thank you for joining us, Mr. Kirk.’ Pike said to ensure that everyone knew that Kirk was late. It was not acceptable behaviour for any of the other officers, so it was damn not acceptable for the first officer.

‘Sorry, sir,’ Kirk tried to look like he thought it was a problem too, but his usually, ‘I can’t do anything wrong’ attitude was shining through.

* * *

These last weeks had been living hell for Kirk. He had been throwing up non-stop, he woke up so nauseous that he almost couldn’t stand. It sometimes helping to eat something, but generally it felt like it was just getting worse and worse.

Kirk did consider going to doctor McCoy but he had said that he wouldn’t attempt to remove the uterus before after six weeks. Six weeks were an eternity if standing made one nauseous.

It didn’t help that Pike had become even more distant and annoyed. Kirk really missed being captain, and Pike’s opinion on him seemed to have plummeted. Not that it had been high to begin with. He knew that he should regret having had sex with Pike. But he really couldn’t. He had never felt like this towards another person.

The other man’s smell, the way his abs had felt. His smile as he had been buried inside him. If only he could wake up from this living nightmare of nausea and pain, he would talk to Pike. Try to get him to see that Kirk was a person, and not just a non-functioning second in command, that was bitter that he no longer was captain of his own ship.

As he emptied his stomach into the toilet for the third time that afternoon. He thought for a moment to call doctor McCoy, his stomach cramped, and his sweaty clammy skin was sticking to the bowl of the toilet.

Kirk was pretty certain that he had lost weight. He couldn’t really keep anything down at this point. It was another two days before McCoy had said put in his appointment of surgery, insisting on six weeks, to ensure that the organ had finished developing, so it wouldn’t grow back.

Of course, Kirk was grateful that the chance of the organ growing back was lower, but he felt that two days more in this hell was almost not worth living. He had avoided sickbay, considering for moment whether the discomfort he was experiencing was more or less than what Bones had anticipated, settling on that it was probably what Bones had meant when he had said.

‘You might experience some nausea and discomfort while the uterus develops.’

He relished the minutes after the last moment of vomiting, where his nausea was slightly better, before, he dry-heaved again, producing only bile and stomach acid.

He moved to lie down on the floor, there wouldn’t really be any reason to back to bed, it wouldn’t be long until he vomited again.

There was a knock on the door, he ignored it. His stomach cramped desperately. And he curled to a foetal position on the floor.

Pike had already entered his room, when he realised that he had a scheduled meeting with the captain that he had missed.

‘Commander?’ He could hear Pike ask. Well, he couldn’t stand up at this point. He closed his eyes. This was one of the most humiliating situations he had found himself in. Not so much because he hadn’t been equality compromising situations before, but because it was Pike that found him.

He could feel someone, Pike, kneeling next to him. He tried to open his closely shut eyes, in the seeing Captain Pike next to him, he was sitting on his knees.

He was going to vomit again. Cold sweat dripped from his forehead, he gagged a few times, but he did not have the strength to get to his knees to hit the toilet.

‘Doctor McCoy to commander Kirk’s quarters, medical emergency.’ He could hear Pike say very far away.

He could feel a dry warm hand that held his upper arm, so he couldn’t roll to his back.

Kirk was thinking that the other man shouldn’t be sitting like that on behalf on the nerve injuries he had. Pike however didn’t look like he was thinking on that at all.

‘Water, please.’ Kirk tried to say, trying to get muster enough strength to get up. Pike nodded. ‘Doctor McCoy is coming,’ he said. ‘Not necessary, I just need a moment.’ Kirk grunted, he also was not too keen on Pike being here, Bones might start talking about the away-mission, where he accepted the drink that had started all this.

There was no reason to make Pike even more angry with him.

He accepted the water hungrily. ‘Slowly,’ Pike ordered, he just looked at him annoyed. But regretted it moments after when he felt the nausea coming with a vengeance when the cold water hit his stomach. All of it returned up.

He was grateful that he hit the toilet again and not captain Pike.

McCoy came in moments after, Kirk leaned himself at the wall of the refresher. ‘What happened?’ Bones asked Captain Pike, clearly not thinking that Kirk himself was able to answer.

‘I found him like this, minutes ago.’ Letting McCoy make his own conclusions.

McCoy knelt next to him, observing his eyes. Moving a hand to his neck. ‘Jim, you need to go to sickbay.’ He said, he didn’t really want to, but at this point it might be a relief. McCoy took a hold of his arm helping him up.

Almost cramping and struggling to not vomit again. Kirk was getting really scared. He must have looked like he was going to die, which coincidently was also how he felt.

Pike helped him up. Desperate for the other man not to leave him. ‘Christopher, please come with me.’ He said and looked up at Pike’s eyes. Before he would have given everything for captain Pike on not seeing him like this, but just now he felt so horrible, he needed the other man there.

Pike gave him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. Indicating that he was coming.

McCoy made an even more facial expression. But whether it was because of the exchange between Pike and Kirk or whether it was due to Kirk’s condition was difficult to say.

Pike sat impeccable in his uniform and observed McCoy examine Kirk in the private room in sickbay.

Kirk still had the sweat filled tank top on, he was hunched over the emesis bowl Bones had given him in the hope that he wouldn’t be sick on the sickbay floor.

Kirk quickly gave up any notion that he could keep his medical information confidential from captain Pike. Especially the part where he had screwed up on the away-mission.

‘Jim, try to lean back, I need to scan you.’ Kirk tried to nod; McCoy was scanning him with the handheld tricorder. ‘Your hormone levels are off.’ McCoy said. Kirk thought that that that shouldn’t surprise the doctor given that he recently had developed female reproductive organs.

Kirk took a look towards Pike, who sat in the chair next to him.

‘The compound from Vedra V might have affected you differently than I anticipated,’ McCoy said, and stopped scanning. This unsurprisingly caught Pike’s attention.

‘What compound?’ Pike asked accusingly and studied Kirk for a moment, the pity he had had in his eyes before was gone.

Bones rolled his eyes. ‘Damn it, Jim, you haven’t told him.’ Kirk thought that he was going to vomit again

When he didn’t reply, McCoy took it as a sign that he better make it public to the captain.

‘Apparently Jim drank an unknown compound on Vedra V,’ he sighed. ‘What compound?’ Pike asked in disbelief. ‘Like a psychedelic compound?’ Probably thinking on the sex, they had had just afterwards.

‘No, more like organ regeneration transplant medication.’ McCoy explained. Pike frowned his brows. ‘And no-one thought I should be kept in the loop on this?’ He stared at Kirk accusingly, probably thinking that this was his fault. Fighting the nausea, Kirk had problems saying back that this was private.

Pike was looking alarmed at this point. ‘Is that why he is sick?’ He asked.

‘I think so. But something has gone wrong, I think maybe it has become cancerous. I originally thought that it was some sort of uterus or female reproductive organs. But it has an abnormal size,’ McCoy explained.

Kirk made an unhappy sound. Even if cancer was usually treatable, this was going to be more complicated for doctor McCoy to treat than just removing a uterus.

‘Why none of you have thought to inform me on this, I have absolutely no…’ Pike mumbled before he stopped himself and continued to say directly to doctor McCoy accusingly: ‘Shouldn’t you have been checking up on him?’

Bones looked angry too. ‘I should have, yes, but someone has not been keeping up with his appointments, none of them in fact.’ Kirk felt like he was going to throw up again, he had begun to shake, sweat formed on his forehead.

Water, a nurse had given him moments before, and bile forced its was out of his mouth. Most of it hit the emesis bowl.

‘Especially, when he according to these readings have been vomiting for weeks.’ It was said to Pike but he stared directly at Kirk.

‘To my defence, I have not tried growing a uterus before, so believing that this was normal side-effects is completely excusable,’ Kirk reasoned. Both of the other men paused and glared at him in disbelief.

Great, now they both were unhappy with him. He reached for the bowl again.

‘Oh, for crying out loud.’ McCoy said, annoyed that Kirk kept vomiting. Bones shot him with a hypo-spray. It instantly made him feel better and the nausea transformed itself into a dull presence in the background.

‘Okay, what happens now?’ Pike asked, Kirk wanted to say that that was none of his business, however he was actually really grateful for Pike to deal with it.

McCoy put his scanner down. ‘I need a better scan of his abdomen, but due to the elevated hormone levels I think the cancer has spread to his own reproductive organs.’ Kirk nodded and tried to suppress the feeling of dread that filled him. He rarely considered his own mortality, at this moment he did.

Pike moved a hand to hold Kirk’s shoulder again. Kirk was grateful for the comfort.

* * *

Pike was scared. Really scared as he looked at his first officer on the biobed. Kirk had lost weight these last few weeks. And he had not asked anyone for help. And he had not reported that he had ingested an unknown compound on an away-mission.

If Pike wasn’t so worried, he would be really angry at this point. But he couldn’t be. It looked like the anti-nausea hypo had helped and Kirk actually looked better now, even if he looked like he just wanted to escape the situation. They weren’t talking.

Kirk was trying to look brave.

They were still in the private room in the sickbay, Pike had sent a message to Spock that he was in charge and unless the Enterprise was attacked by Klingons, they were not to be disturbed.

McCoy had left them to make a plan for treatment and discuss the scans with the other doctor.

The doctor looked very serious when he returned. ‘So?’ Kirk said, eager for this to go anywhere. ‘Jim, it is not cancer.’ McCoy looked like this was not good news, to Pike’s surprise. Kirk looked relieved and got up from the biobed. ‘That’s great, Bones, can I…’ The doctor looked at him seriously:

‘Sit Jim,’ he ordered. ‘Bones, what…?’ Kirk asked confused at this demeanour.

McCoy had seemed very certain about his diagnosis before, and the doctor was very rarely wrong. It was such a serious diagnosis, so it must be something that looked very much like cancer.

‘But weren’t you sure it was cancer, doctor?’ Pike asked. ‘Well, yes, the regrown uterus is extremely enlarged and hCG levels in human males is only present with testicular cancer.’

Pike knew what that meant. ‘He is pregnant?’ He asked in disbelief. ‘I am what?’ Kirk looked like the anti-nausea hypo had stopped working.

‘Yes, but I might have told him less directly.’ McCoy said eying Pike annoyed, and moved to help Kirk lie back again.

Pike made a shrug. But at least since it wasn’t cancer, McCoy could just remove the uterus and Kirk might not have any lasting effects from this.

‘Is it human?’ Kirk asked after a few second, his face was completely white, and he seemed to be in shock. McCoy looked to doubt what Kirk talked about.

‘What is, Jim, the foetus?’ Kirk nodded. ‘Yes, I haven’t checked if it is biologically yours, Jim, but yes it is human.’ There was a small break. Kirk did not meet any of their eyes. Then came a very quietly: ‘Is it viable?’ The question caught doctor McCoy of guard.

It also caught Pike of guard.

‘I don’t know Jim, I guess so,’ he said sympathetically. ‘Can you scan me, like you scan pregnant women?’ Kirk inquired. Pike had no idea why Kirk would be asking that. They should plan on how to make Kirk better and get the foreign object removed from him, before he became even more sick.

McCoy looked unhappy with this request as well, he looked towards Pike, still sitting in the chair next to the biobed. ‘That is a poor idea, Jim.’ McCoy said, agreeing with what Pike was thinking.

‘That was not what I asked, Bones,’ Kirk said. Pike interrupted, ‘I agree with doctor McCoy, it serves no purpose, it is better that you just get the uterus removed as fast as possible.’ Kirk was about to say something, but uncharacteristically closed his mouth again.

‘Christopher, would you honestly feel the same way if it turns out that you are the father?’ He finally said. They had had sex, yes, but it was a completely hypothetically situation that he should be the other parent.

‘Why would captain Pike be the father?’ Bones asked; neither Kirk nor Pike chose to comment.

Well, it didn’t matter, Kirk was not going to go through with any pregnancy for any duration of time. This had already been allowed to go on for weeks without Kirk getting any sort of medical attention.

‘Tell me you two aren’t sleeping together,’ McCoy continued.

They both stopped and stared at the doctor.

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ McCoy said at the realisation that they probably did; he moved his hands up in resignation. Pike pursed his lips and moved back to scold Kirk.

‘That has nothing to do with it,’ Pike snapped. ‘Kirk, you need to be serious, getting unnecessary scans is putting off treatment.’

Kirk took a sharp breath. ‘Captain, I think maybe it would be better if I discuss my health situation with my doctor. Alone,’ he said a little too polite, clearly trying to stop himself from getting into an argument.

He also knew that Pike would have no other option than to leave.

Pike didn’t hear from Kirk again for the rest of the day. He considered going to look for him. He really hoped that McCoy had convinced Kirk that a scan would be a poor idea. It would making it unnecessarily difficult for the commander. It would not only be treating a condition then; it would also be an abortion. And Pike didn’t want Kirk to go through with that feeling.

It would be better if Kirk just got it over and done with. Pike did, however, not get a notification that Kirk was off sick the following day. Maybe this type of surgery or treatment didn’t require recuperation time. Pike had been kicked out of sickbay before he could ask that question.

Kirk was in the command chair when Pike turned up at 0700 hours.

‘Kirk, shouldn’t you be off sick?’ He asked, as the commander got up from the chair. Kirk did look a lot better than the previous day; his cheeks were also not grey anymore.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about, sir,’ Kirk said indifferently. Pike sighed, and took the chair.

Outwardly, everything was as usual. Kirk was even standing up at the tactical station without looking the least bit tired or ill.

Pike rescheduled the status meeting from the day before to ten, and hoped that Kirk would at least say something on his condition afterwards.

The meeting with Kirk went as they normally went, with an air that Kirk found them boring and irrelevant. Pike for once couldn’t wait until this one was over, so he could talk to Kirk about private matters.

Kirk was halfway up from his chair, when Pike stopped him. While Pike didn’t know what to say, he wanted a confirmation that Kirk was recovering. Of course, it was to assess whether his XO was ready for duty or not.

He could barely admit to himself the true reason. That he had a fear of Kirk not being all right. And Pike could not remove his guilty conscience. He should have noticed that Kirk had been sick, at least since the incidence at the gym.

‘Jim, sit down. Tell me if you are all right?’ Pike said. Kirk, looked like he wanted to flee.

‘As your friend, not as your captain,’ Pike added softly. For reasons unknown this made Kirk look bothered. ‘Sir,’ he said it with some distance. ‘I am fine.’ Pike wanted to ask how the treatment had worked. But he didn’t.

Pike put his hand on top of Kirk’s. The other man didn’t remove it, he just looked at it. It made Pike wonder for a moment if he crossed a limit.

Kirk’s blue eyes met his, before he very slowly moved towards Pike. His heart hammered away in his chest, as he allowed Kirk to come so close that their lips almost met.

His brain screamed that this was a horrible idea, and that he needed to make it stop. But his body refused to cooperate.

Then the magic was broken and the door to the ready room flew open. Both men instinctively moved away from each other. Kirk got up, and looked apologetic towards Pike as Spock entered with the report from the science labs.

At least it stopped them from shagging on the conference table.

They were also in the middle of the shift.

* * *

Kirk turned up again in the evening, it was not even that late, and Pike was still in uniform. ‘What’s up?’

Kirk grinned. ‘I believe we were interrupted, captain,’ he said. They were, and it had actually been a good thing, it had prevented them from doing something they would both regret.

‘Kirk… ’ he sighed, ‘ we are not going to have sex again.’ It was obvious that Kirk was under the false pretence that this was going to happen.

‘What if I don’t want sex?’

Pike highly doubted that; Kirk had already moved way into his personal space and was pushing him into the room, while he trailed a seductive kiss on Pike’s mouth. He found himself being too weak to resist the other man.

‘Shouldn’t you be recuperating?’ Pike asked weakly as a last defence. Kirk was groping his ass at this point.

* * *

Kirk had lied, he definitely wanted sex with the captain. He was not nauseous anymore, and the relief had been transformed in adding to his already overactive sex-drive.

Pike looked like he was surrendering to him completely as he moved a hand up under his shirt. He was well-trained, and his warm dry skin was intoxicating. Kirk moved to kiss his neck as he pressed him against the wall.

He smelled like of warmth and faintly of star fleet issued soap, Kirk moved his hands down struggling with the captain’s pants.

His sickness these few months had kept him from having any other desire than to get better, now he felt amazing, he was half hard already. And pretty sure that captain Pike would make a stop to this at any moment.

Gliding down to Pike’s groin, pushing his erection in sucking, licking, feeling it come to life. The captain was making a gasping sound, possible being a bit surprised. He did, however, not struggle back.

Kirk moved to his knees, sucking, moving the erection in and out. By the sounds that the captain was making, he was not completely bad at it, even if he had not been on the giving end of this before.

Pike was gasped while he opened and closed his left hand. ‘I am... oh... I...’ clearly trying to warn Kirk. Kirk didn’t flinch; he held his mouth in place licking at the salty liquid. Pike was supporting himself to the wall before pulling Kirk up, Moving them both to the bed. Now more active pushing Kirk uniform off, helping him with his undershirt.

Uncertain where this was going, Kirk moved a tentative hand on the other’s behind, moving a finger around the hole. He received a reassuring smile, before he pushed the finger inside, while pulling Pike backwards toward the bed. He pushed him hard.

‘Where is your lube?’ He asked seating himself across Pike’s legs. ‘side-table.’ Pike gasped.

Kirk retrieved it before putting it on his fingers, again pushing them into the other man. Before he put the lube on his now hard erection. ‘Is it okay, can I...?’ He asked. He had himself found this more painful than he had thought, and he did not wish to give any pain.

‘Yes, it’s fine,’ Pike said a bit short. Eagerly Kirk moved across him, he was still on his stomach. He pushed himself inside. Excitement and lust were rippling through the pit of his stomach as he moved back and forth. He could really feel that it had been a while, coming way to quick, the tight sensation was nothing he had felt before.

He felt an extreme lust and desire for the well-trained man beneath him. Before he came hard inside Pike. He was pretty sure this was embarrassingly short, but there was no way he could prolong it. He collapsed on Pike’s firm back, kissing him on the back of the neck, as he felt himself going limp inside the captain.

He had definitely come for the sex, he rolled to Pike’s side, smiling at him. And was given a small smile back. He was going to live on that smile for the rest of the week, he knew.

He really loved Christopher Pike, like really, he was not going to say that out loud though, and he was definitely not going to have any kind of illusion that he was going to stay. He pulled himself up after seconds. Pike rolled to his side. He looked confused. ‘Are you going to the bathroom?’ Pike asked.

That was a strange thing to ask, Kirk found his pants, ‘No, I am going to my quarters,’ he said surprised. Was Pike looking disappointed? Or was that wishful thinking? Kirk decided that it was probably wishful thinking.

‘Oh, okay then see you tomorrow, commander,’ Pike said, as if they had just had a meeting on crew reports.

Kirk did not know why he was crying when he rolled back in his bed after a shower, maybe it was his elevated hormone levels. At least he wasn’t used to crying. Pike hadn’t even rejected him; he had been more than accommodating.

He rolled to the side, trying to find rest, finally going to look at his PADD, looking at the message from Bones. It was marked private.

Message: Private pictures foetus, gestation week 8. It looked like a hamster. Hopefully it wouldn’t look like a hamster later. Maybe a hamster had gotten him pregnant, and not captain Pike.

His stomach was still flat, nothing indicated that there was a hamster in there. He wrote Bones back. ‘Thank you. For the hamster pictures.’ It did cheer him up. That it was a baby, and that it was going to be okay, completely normal. The heart was beating and everything.

* * *

‘Spock, I need your help.’ Kirk stopped Spock in the hallway on the way to the transporter room. ‘I can’t go on that away mission.’ Spock stopped. ‘Jim, I do not understand, is there something in particular that bothers you about this mission?’ There wasn’t, but at this point he should not be partaking in away-missions where there was danger of injury.

‘Spock, listen I really cannot go,’ he said. ‘May I ask, what concerns you, and I might suggest a suitable solution? However, I do believe that since it was captain Pike’s idea that you should be in charge of this away-mission, he will not be pleased if you are not.’ Okay, yeah captain Pike might not be happy about that. But Kirk really couldn’t go. He was 11 weeks pregnant, and Bones had asked him to stay away from radiation and away-missions.

‘I am pregnant,’ Kirk blurted out. Spock, who had been walking in a brisk pace until now, stopped. ‘Commander Kirk, with consideration to your gender and species, I find that highly improbable,’ he stated and looked at Kirk as if to dissect him and see if there really was a baby inside him.

‘Are you saying that you don’t believe me?’ Kirk asked. ‘I find this situation to have some similarities to what human’s refer to as practical jokes…’ Spock said, ‘I believe I have some difficulty with understanding this type of crude humour.’ Kirk looked around in desperation, they were alone.

‘It is not a practical joke, Spock. I wouldn’t lie to you.’ He tried to look as earnest as he could. Spock sighed. Trying clearly to not observe his stomach for any sign of this pregnancy.

‘Let us say that I believe that you are indeed pregnant. How do you suggest that I get captain Pike to agree to you not going on the away-mission? As I assume that you have already informed him of your predicament?’ Spock asked.

‘I might not have told him. I mean he knows that I was pregnant, but he clearly believes that I have aborted it.’ Spock eyed him with some sort of annoyance at human interactions.

‘I fail to see how you thought that this type of deception was in your own interest,’ he moved his eyes towards Kirk’s midsection, ‘or that of your child’s.’ They had reached the door to the transporter room.

Kirk didn’t know how to respond to that. He also would like to go on this away-mission, and he hated that Spock was going instead of him.

‘Very well, I will go instead of you, as I believe that would also have been the solution which captain Pike would have presented, had he been aware of all the facts.’ Kirk breathed out relieved, and went back to the bridge.

Pike looked back at him surprised.

‘You were supposed to be on the away-mission, Mr. Kirk,’ he said, as Kirk went to the tactical station. ‘Well, yes, Spock asked to go instead of me.’ Uhura glared at him, and he would have sworn that she was huffing.

He began calibrating the instruments on his station. Pike didn’t even try to make it look like he was happy about this.

‘Well, then it appears I am completely superfluous.’ Pike said sarcastically, and moved his hands up with resignation. Kirk wondered whether he would be rejected if he came by Pike’s quarter later. But then again he came there and they had sex almost every night at it was, and it didn’t appear to matter what they had been arguing about that day.

Actually, the sex was possible even better when they had argued.

* * *

Spock was injured on the away mission. It was unclear how bad, both Kirk and Uhura insisted on going to check in the sickbay; they ended up alone in the turbo lift. Of course. She looked like she considered murder.

‘Kirk, this is your fault,’ she said accusingly. He felt that too, but he really couldn’t have gone on that away mission. ‘How is this my fault?’ He asked, ‘You skipped out of your duty, for reasons unknown. And now…’ Tears ran down her cheeks.

‘Lieutenant,’ he moved a hand down her arm. ‘I am sure he is okay.’ They didn’t know how bad it was at this point. ‘At least tell me why…?’ She asked sniffing. ‘I am pregnant.’ She looked up surprised. ‘Kirk, I swear to God, if this is some sick…’ He shook his head. ‘No, no it isn’t, I know I asked Spock to go instead of me,’ he was cracking up too at this point, stupid hormones.

‘I know it is my fault.’ He instinctively brushed a palm across his abdomen. Then quickly stopped. He didn’t know how much she still blamed him, or even believed his excuse. But she flew towards Spock, who was awake, and was being treated by Bones in the far end of sickbay.

‘Spock!’ Uhura said and pulled her arms around him. ‘Lieutenant, I believe such blatant display of emotions might be best saved for a more private occasion,’ Spock said. Okay, so he was going to be okay. Kirk was really relieved. And Spock, opposed to Uhura, looked actually happy that he had come down to sickbay. ‘Jim,’ he said.

* * *

Pike, however, was not happy, he was actually fuming. Not that it showed before the two of them were alone.

‘What were you thinking?’ Pike hissed, ‘I ordered you, not Spock, down there,’ he said, sitting on the edge of the desk in his ready room. Kirk was standing up in front of him, looking crestfallen. He was happy, of course that Kirk had not been down there and had become injured. But Kirk was sometimes a lot more resourceful than Spock, and there might not have been any injuries at all if it had been Kirk that had gone as he was supposed to.

‘Spock is going to be okay, sir, I fail to see…’ ‘That is the problem with you, isn’t it, Kirk? You fail to see…’ He pursed his lips. ‘Sir, there is something that I need to talk to you about,’ he said. At this point Pike really didn’t care.

If it was that important, Kirk could either send a message or wait until Pike actually wanted to hear what his XO had to say. Now was not that time.

Kirk for once just left when he was asked to. And Pike found himself feeling bad immediately afterwards.

He sort of hoped that Kirk would show up at his quarters in the evening, but he didn’t. It was not until 0100 that Pike gave up. He stared sleepless into the ceiling. Maybe he should go to Kirk’s quarters for once. But he immediately rejected the idea. If Kirk wasn’t showing up; it was because he was not interested in sex tonight.

And while Pike sort of liked his XO’s visits for other reasons, he had to admit that Kirk was probably only coming for the sex.

Kirk didn’t show up for the next two weeks. Pike was uncertain why that was, it was not as if their argument had been worse than what they sometimes were, more to the contrary they disagreed on everything.

And then one night, Kirk was just outside again around ten. Pike opened the door, a bit tired, he was wearing a black pyjamas.

‘Hallo, what do you want?’ He asked, Kirk gave him an apologetic grin. ‘The usual,’ he said casually walking past Pike, and began to remove his own clothes. Pike sighed and pulled his own pyjamas top off and moved into the other man. And kissed him carefully on the lips, moving his hands to Kirk’s hips. Kirk looked amazing.

He had lost so much weight when he had been sick, and most of it had returned, he trailed a hand over Kirk’s well-trained muscles. Pushing him backwards. The tanned skin, and the intoxicating smell of Kirk filled him. He flipped him around, carefully massaging the lower back, caressing it.

He kept doing it while reaching for the lube with the other hand. Before his communicator went off. ‘Yes,’ he answered annoyed, ‘we are being fired at, sir, sorry to disturb you.’ It was Spock in the other end.

Kirk also rolled to his side and looked disappointed. ‘Duty calls, Kirk, grab your uniform.’ Pike quickly took out a uniform. The red alert siren was indicating that they should hurry. Kirk was struggling to get his pants on. They looked too tight.

‘They have forced our shields down, captain.’ Spock reported as he left the command chair. Kirk moved to the tactical station behind him. ‘How the hell did they do that?’ Pike asked. Kirk was working on the systems behind him, hopefully he was finding out.

Two aliens beamed to the bridge. And began shooting. Both Kirk and Spock had their phasors out and was shooting back. The aliens were shooting, but it didn’t appear that they had hit anything. The last alien fell at Kirk’s phasor. ‘They have our shield code; I am changing it.’ Kirk said. ‘Shields are up again.’ Pike nodded, relieved.

‘Fire all phasor banks.’ The ship was no match for them. Before it suddenly exploded, ‘I didn’t say you should destroy it.’ He said annoyed. ‘A self-destruct mechanism, sir.’ Spock reported from the science station.

Pike sighed, he looked back towards Kirk, only now realising that the young man had been hit. He held onto his shoulder, where the uniform was scorched black. Spock had jumped up, realising the same thing shortly before.

Kirk leaned over his control panel in an unusual angle. ‘Doctor McCoy to the bridge, commander Kirk has been shot.’ Pike said calmly. He was surprised himself that he could be so calm in this instant. Inside he was in pure panic.

Spock was helping Kirk to be one the floor. At least Kirk was conscious. Pike tried to suppress a feeling of jealousy as Spock was taking Kirk’s arm.

His first officer looked surprisingly calm. ‘Jim, stay down. Doctor McCoy will be here shortly.’ Spock said in almost a whisper. Kirk was completely concentrated on Spock and nodded.

McCoy came quickly. He pulled out a handheld medical scanner and tricorder. ‘Is he okay, doctor?’ Uhura knelt next to Kirk as well. Pike really also wanted to go over there. But it was getting too crowded, and there needed to be room for doctor McCoy to work.

‘It is a superficial wound. I don’t think he was actual hit, probably his shoulder was in the blast radius,’ he concluded. Kirk apparently heard this an approval of him escaping.

‘Stay down, Jim, I need to check the rest of you.’ ‘Is the baby okay?’ Uhura asked urgently. McCoy looked at her. And down towards Kirk again. What baby? Something clicked, oh, that baby! So, Kirk was still pregnant. How the… Okay, Pike was not even going to go there, of all the irresponsible things, which his XO had pulled.

Pike had not considered at all that Kirk might not be getting that wayward pregnancy removed. Was Kirk even fit to be a parent and where would he put the kid?

Damn it. Pike couldn’t even say that Kirk hadn’t told him about this, he had been there when Kirk found out, Kirk just hadn’t told him that he planned to keep it.

McCoy didn’t answer Uhura. ‘Jim, you are having slight contractions, I think it is Braxton-Hicks. Does this hurt?’ The Doctor was pressing down on Kirk’s lower abdomen. It was completely flat. The young man shook his head. ‘Okay, then I am pretty sure it is nothing.’ McCoy said relieved, and began assisting Kirk to stand.

* * *

Kirk came by the following evening. He had been off duty for the day on the account on the burn on his shoulder.

He was grinning. ‘I believe we were interrupted yesterday,’ he said at Pike’s apparent unhappiness with seeing him. He definitely needed to radiate more rejection around Kirk.

Pike was going to open his mouth and ask about the pregnancy, which Kirk had apparently failed to mention wasn’t terminated, when the young man moved into his space and kissed him.

He tasted a little sweet and of toothpaste, and smelled intoxicating of sunshine and rain. Pike couldn’t stop himself from kissing back. Moving his hands to rest on the small of Kirk’s back. He opened his mouth a little inviting the other man in, pushing him inside.

Okay, he was going to scold Kirk, but not right now. The young man felt all too god, as he pushed the shirt over the other man’s head. There was a burn bandage on his right shoulder. He was still extremely well trained. He didn’t look like he should be pregnant.

He allowed the other man to turn him around and crawling on top of him.

Kirk was so fast in disappearing after they had had sex, that they never had any time to talk. And while Pike was uncertain what they should talk about, he especially wished that Kirk would have stayed for just a few minutes this time. He had seemed even more eager to leave, refusing to meet his eyes. He stared at something from the corner of his eyes.

If Pike didn’t know better, he would have thought that Kirk was about to cry, but before he had any time to contemplate on it, Kirk fled out of the door.

* * *

Kirk would have thought that the fact that captain Pike clearly knew about the baby and the continued pregnancy would somehow make him stop their nightly encounters. But it didn’t chance anything.

Kirk might have liked that it would at least have chanced something. But it really didn’t, they still didn’t talk, they fucked, and Kirk left right afterwards, not even using the bathroom.

There hadn’t really been any pregnancy to see at this point, and while he suspected that ship’s rumours had made sure that the entire ship knew about their former captain’s weird pregnancy. It was not normally brought up in front of him though.

He was in his tank top in sickbay, holding a hand over his lower stomach. He had gone up one size, but it seemed like it was more fat to the sides than his belly that had caused that.

‘You need to eat heathier,’ Bones said, yapping him with a hypo-spray. ‘You said I should gain more weight.’ Kirk said defensively, making McCoy just roll his eyes. ‘Not eat like a pig, are you living off of fried food?’ ‘What did you just give me?’ Kirk asked looking at the injection site.

‘Vitamins, it is not your weight I am worried about,’ McCoy said more softly. ‘You are fine weight-wise.’ He sighed. ‘You are too much on your feet during the day.’ That couldn’t be helped, he had the tactical station whenever captain Pike was one the bridge, and that station didn’t have a chair.

McCoy gave him a stern look. ‘Listen I am not asking captain Pike for a different bridge station,’ Kirk said. It made McCoy roll his eyes. ‘I thought that you were sleeping with him.’ He said, moving to get the handheld scanner. McCoy wasn’t supposed to know that. Kirk tried to look offended.

‘Bones, that is absolutely not…’ McCoy sighed and rolled his eyes. ‘Fine, have it your way. Then ask whoever you are having anal sex with approximately every second night that you should get a chair.’ Okay, Bones had an advantage with the medical scanner.

Kirk gave up. ‘We don’t really talk that much.’ ‘What do you mean, you keep arguing all the time? It is a nuisance to the rest of the crew.’ McCoy was referring to the staff meetings.

‘Well, in private we don’t.’ McCoy put the scanner to Kirk’s lower abdomen. ‘Jesus Christ,’ he said. ‘Only you, Jim…’

Fortunately, Bones changed the subject. ‘I am checking the baby’s inner organs this time, most of them should be developed.’ Kirk looked down at the instrument on his stomach. Mostly worried whether the baby was getting big enough and that it was not only him that was getting fatter but also the baby.

‘Is it okay?’ He asked. ‘Yes, everything is perfect, so do you want to know the gender?’ Yes, he really wanted to know everything about him or her. Not wanting to think about his fucked-up love life or his work for a few moments.

He nodded. ‘It is a boy. I am doing some measurements, but he is perfect for 16 weeks.’ Apparently, just not protruding that much.

McCoy romped the device, and pulled Kirk’s shirt down again. ‘Shouldn’t I be showing at this time, if he is perfect?’ Kirk asked nervously. If he was completely flat on his back, it was possible to see some faint outline. He moved a hand across it. If he relaxed his abdominal muscles he could feel it too.

‘Your abdominal wall is pretty tight, and your abdominal muscles are stronger than average. I don’t that there is any reason for concerns.’ Kirk came to a worried afterthought. ‘He is not a clone right?’ McCoy sighed.’ I hope not, I don’t think I can deal with two of you.’ Kirk moved an examining hand across where the little boy was sleeping.

‘Could you maybe check?’ He asked hopefully. ‘I can, but that would include finding out if you are the biological parent as well, are you sure you are ready to know if you aren’t?’ Bones did have a point, however biology or not, Kirk would still be the kids’ mother. And he had already been deprived of being involved in one son’s life.

He really wanted to be a parent to this one.

‘If you say so; I am checking. Okay, you are definitely the child's biological parent. And the other parent is a biological human male. Should I find out from the database who it is?’

Kirk was not really interested, maybe it was captain Pike, maybe it was someone not in the database, maybe the father’s DNA had come with the uterus as a demo package. It didn’t matter.

McCoy hadn’t needed to worry about getting a chair for the tactical station. Spock was in charge of that kind of thing, and seemed for once unnatural accommodating.

Kirk could tell that Pike had noticed it, he made eyes at Kirk leaving the command chair to sit down.

* * *

Kirk was sucking at Pike’s neck hungrily, when the other man stopped him. ‘Jim, stop!’ Kirk decided to just continue what he was doing. Pike pushed him away, looking into his eyes. ‘Commander, stop,’ he said with his captain’s voice. It didn’t make Kirk any less horny. He moved a hand to hungrily touch a greying sideburn.

‘What is going on?’ He asked, wanting to go directly to the sex. He had been thinking about this all day. It was a wonder he didn’t get a hard on every time Pike had scrawled at him during alpha shift.

‘Why has Doctor McCoy put you on light duty?’ He asked. Kirk had no idea what he was talking about. ‘Bones has… what?’ Okay, He was going to have a serious conversation with that doctor.

Kirk was fuming. ‘Damn it, I complain once about back pains and he...’ Kirk trailed off. He really didn’t want to discuss this with the captain. Pike however, looked like he took this rather seriously.

He asked weakly: ‘You have back pains?’ And an overactive sex-drive, why were they even talking? They never talked.

‘Christopher, can’t we just fuck?’ It didn’t look like that was an option. ‘Jim, does it hurt right now?’ He asked concerned, and yes it did, his back always hurt, but that was not a reason not to have fun.

Pike was annoying when he was concerned, which fortunately wasn’t something that happened very often. And it did not bode well for Kirk’s chance of getting laid for the rest of this pregnancy.

Should he lie? He had other complaints that Pike shouldn’t find out as well. Most stuff that happened during a pregnancy wasn’t exactly sexy.

‘A little, listen it doesn’t matter, it is normal with the …’ He stopped. Pike continued him. ‘…Pregnancy. Why are you even doing this Kirk? Nothing good can come out of it.’ He meant the baby, of course he did.

Kirk sighed, he knew that Pike thought that this was a bad idea, having a baby. Or it was possible, just Kirk having a baby that was a bad idea. He knew that and it stung. And Kirk still loved him, but he loved the baby in his belly too.

‘Captain,’ he said coldly, ‘that is not your concern.’ Pike leaned back, still in nightclothes, looking at Kirk, still in uniform.

Kirk should get up and leave, but he couldn’t, the two men just sat there and stared at each other. Pike broke the silence after a while, apparently not thinking that this discussion was worthwhile.

‘You are right, commander, I won’t interfere in this if you don’t want me to get involved.’ Kirk definitely wanted Pike to be involved. But they just did not have the same definition on getting involved.

Pike got up and moved towards Kirk and kissed him on the mouth. It took a few seconds before Kirk’s libido won over his pride. He kissed back slowly. The kiss was tender, trying for a moment, before Pike began slowly to take off Kirk’s uniform jacket.

He got him almost half naked before Pike moved him to the bed. Pike for once didn’t ask for anything, he just moved to Kirk’s erection, teasing at the prostrate. Taking the erection into his mouth. Kirk came too fast, he knew.

Expecting to return the favour, Pike stopped him. ‘If you stay, I’ll give you a back rub.’ Pike offered calmly. Kirk was somewhat shocked by this. Both part of the offer seemed so out of character, that he didn’t know what to say.

Kirk stayed. Both men were on their sides, naked. It was the first time he had actually stayed for more than minutes. And that was usually if he couldn’t locate his underwear afterwards.

He could feel Pike’s large warm hands trailed over his back. Gently caressing and massaging his sore muscles. It felt like a more intimate gesture than the blowjob.

Kirk awoke naked, in a strange bed. He could in the dim light, see a figure, captain Pike sleeping next to him, on the back. The captain looked in deep sleep; his mouth was slightly open. They were under the same blanket. Kirk felt relaxed, more than he had been in weeks.

A slight flicker in his lower stomach moved his attention; it didn’t feel like indigestion. He moved a hand to rest on top of the small bump there. Something tapped gently towards his hand. It tickled a little.

He was pretty sure it was the baby he could feel for the first time.

Kirk took a long look towards captain Pike again, who’s deep breath bordered snoring. This was not something he could share with Pike. Kirk decided to leave, maybe he should wake up Bones, desperate to share it with anyone. He felt the small tap again, together with the feeling of flicking butterflies from the inside.

He moved as quietly as he could out to bed and began searching for his clothes.

* * *

Pike was disappointed that Kirk was gone the next morning, he had finally gotten Kirk to stay the night, even if they apparently still were unable communicate. He was actually growing somewhat concerned with Kirk. He didn’t look that pregnant. But it was clear that it was taking a toll.

Pregnancies could be dangerous and Kirk didn’t exactly have a body that that was designed for this. And it had happened on the account on some alien technology.

But Kirk was still his XO, and he still had to do his job, else he needed to be reported sick, which he apparently didn’t want to be. ‘Mr. Kirk,’ Pike said at the department briefing. ‘Do you have the safety report from the shuttle deck doors.’ From Kirk’s half sleeping demeanour, he looked like he hadn’t even known that they had a shuttle deck.

‘What?’ Kirk asked. ‘Did you get the safety report from the shuttle deck?’ Pike repeated. Kirk leaned forwards. ‘Ehm, sir?’ He was going through the files on his PADD. It was a point on the agenda for this meeting, why was it taking this long time?

‘Ehm, I don’t know where it is,’ Kirk finally concluded. ‘Then you need to repeat the safety tests,’ Pike said, it didn’t look like Kirk was that keen on doing that. His XO rolled his eyes, visible.

‘Sir, I am sure it is somewhere.’ Pike gave him a stern look; any safety problems with the shuttle deck could put the entire ship in risk. ‘And I am not repeating that test,’ Kirk said in defiance.

Pike got up, ‘Okay, thank you gentlemen, meeting adjourned.’ Kirk looked like he was fleeing with the rest of the department heads.

‘Mr. Kirk, you are not dismissed!’ Captain Pike ordered. Kirk stopped, reluctantly. He refusing to meet Pike’s eyes. He knew what was wrong, clearly. They waited for the others to leave.

‘What are you doing Kirk? You are being insubordinate. I don’t care what is going on, I want this behaviour to stop right now,’ Pike berated him. He was actually nicer than he normally would under the circumstances. But it didn’t look like it helped with Kirk’s mood.

‘Right, sir.’ Kirk was just mouthing after him, saying what he thought that Pike wanted to hear. It seemed to be rather certain that Kirk would not change anything in his attitude.

* * *

Kirk kept coming for sex in his quarters, but he had begun to refuse to remove his undershirt. The last two weeks, he had even asked to get the lighting turned to 10% before removing his uniform jacket. In the darkness, Pike could see Kirk’s slightly protruding belly even with the undershirt and low lighting.

He kissed Kirk’s neck, and trailed a hand downward from Kirk’s neck towards the hard erection. Kirk took a grip on Pike’s hand. Moving it in a circle around the small bump, and around to the destination. Ensuring that Pike didn’t touch his stomach.

It annoyed Pike as he liked to touch Kirk smooth body. And while he might not agree with Kirk having a baby, he still found the commander’s body tantalising. Pike yearned to trail kissed everywhere on the warm skin and breathe in each last inch of his first officer.

The light wasn’t turned up before Kirk had fled after the sex.

* * *

A strange display met captain Pike when he entered the bridge, and to his surprise, Spock sat at his station; Kirk stood next to him, and Spock had a naked hand under Kirk’s uniform, holding a hand on the middle of Kirk’s belly.

He stopped and stared at the sight, but apparently no-one else seemed to find it strange. They also didn’t appear to stop what they were doing even as Pike had entered. Uhura leaned on the panel next to them.

Uhura giggled and whispered something nonaudible. ‘His mind is very calm,’ Spock said impressed. No-one had still taken any notice that their captain had entered the bridge, but then again he was pretty certain that he couldn’t compete with a pregnant Kirk and a baby.

‘He is kicking at you, I think…’ Kirk said, Pike cleared his throat. They all three stopped and Spock removed his hand, and returned to his control panel. Kirk gave what must have been an apologetic grin to Pike and went over to his own post, dragging Uhura with him.

If not told, no-one could really tell that Kirk was pregnant. He looked maybe a little full, his lower stomach was a little bloated. Pike was actually surprised that it was possible to feel the child kicking.

But that was apparently the case. Pike was also jealous that Kirk didn’t mind that Spock touched his belly, and he had been so opposed to Pike touching it.

Kirk was beginning to touch his stomach more the next couple of weeks. Unless he was at Pike’s quarters, then he stayed away from that area. Pike was somewhat curious about the pregnancy at this point. He didn’t find it particularly sexy, and on that account it might be for the best that it was not involved in their sex life. But he might have liked that he could get his XO to share at least a little bit with him.

At this point he got all information from accidentally overhearing ship’s gossip.

* * *

It was another away mission, normally Pike would think that his second in command should go. It was hostile environment, and there was a significant danger. He looked towards Kirk, ‘You have the bridge, Mr. Kirk,’ getting up. ‘Mr. Spock, find two security officers and meet me in the transporter room.’

Kirk looked at him unhappily, he didn’t get up from his chair. ‘What is it commander?’ Pike asked, Kirk looked hesitantly towards Spock. ‘I don’t think you should go down there, it poses a risk and as the captain, you…’

It should have been his first officer, bit his first officer couldn’t very well go, twenty weeks pregnant.

And his first officer should only contradict his orders in private, even if he found Kirk’s concern touching. He tore his eyes away from the young man. He wanted to be angrier with Kirk’s concern than he was. But he felt a pang of something like tenderness at Kirk’s open honest face, slightly parted lips as if he was going to say something.

‘Do you volunteer yourself, Mr. Kirk?’ Pike asked sarcastically. Kirk closed his mouth. ‘Didn’t think so. Mr. Spock, full heat-protection armour.’

Pike was in doubt whether it was because Kirk couldn’t stand to miss out of the action or it was the put down, but Kirk didn’t give a rebuttal, he just stood up, but instead of walking to the command chair, he just stood still and looked longingly after Pike and Spock leaving the bridge.

This was also one of the reasons Pike found this whole pregnancy business a bad idea. Kirk didn’t want to be side-lined. He thrived on dangerous missions, and Pike was pretty sure that Kirk would be given command of another vessel within a few years if he hadn’t gotten pregnant.

Being pregnant and raising a small child alone likely put an end to that type of careers.

Pike was hit by a lava flood, hitting his leg, and before the Enterprise could make an emergency beam-out, it burning magna had made its way all the way through his protective armour, leaving him with most of his lower leg covered in third degree burns.

He was biting his cheek to prevent himself from screaming, as two nurses from the medical staff pulled him onto a gurney, Pouring culling treatment on the leg. Removing what was left of his boot.

To his surprise, Kirk was there before McCoy. In the pain, he directed his anger towards Kirk. ‘Commander,’ He growled in pain. ‘You are in command, go to...’ He almost hyperventilated from the pain. ‘...the bridge, now.’ It took all his energy not to scream. They were pouring more burn treatment on his leg. Spock assisted with removing the rest of his heat protective armour.

Kirk, however, ignored everything just said and just began to help Spock. Pike was almost passing out from the burning tearing pain of his leg and couldn’t reprove Kirk. The last he saw before doctor McCoy moved him backwards was burnt black flakes of skin pealing of.

Pike could feel someone taking a grip on his hand. ‘Christopher, it’s going to be all right,’ Kirk whispered before McCoy gave him a hypo-spray to the neck and everything went into blissful blackness.

* * *

Pike woke up, painful, hazy, somewhere, probably in sickbay. He groaned at the crippling pain in his lower leg. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t move it. He hoped that they hadn’t amputated his leg and this wasn’t some phantom pain.

The light was painfully sharp. ‘Water,’ he gasped and breathed out hard. He felt someone holding a warm hand behind his neck. A glass of water was held up to his lips, and someone helped him drink. The cold water felt soothing. He was confused, and at some point he was certain that he was dreaming. He could feel Kirk holding his hand, it had been him, who had given him the water. But that wasn’t right, why would Kirk be with him?

‘Bones.’ It was Kirk. ‘The captain is awake,’ he said. Pike could see a different vague presence above him, the doctor, it was followed by a hypo-spray to the neck. The feeling of pain disappeared as well as the heavy cloud over his perception.

Pike realised, he was in medical jumpsuit, Kirk was not in his uniform but a loose t-shit. ‘Was anyone else injured?’ Pike asked worried. He hadn’t seen the rest of the away-team and it looked like he was the only one in sickbay at the moment. ‘No, it was only you, sir.’

Since the pain was almost gone, Pike tried to get up from the bed.

Instinctively, Kirk helped him to sit. His leg was fixed, and put in a medical container.

‘What time is it?’ He rasped. ‘2300 hours, sir.’ Kirk said, his XO should be in bed then, just as he should.

‘Kirk, what are you doing here then? I’ll see you tomorrow at the department head meeting.’ McCoy looked like he was starting a sentence a couple of times before finally saying: ‘Captain, you need to stay here longer than that. Jim, I agree with the captain on this one, go to bed.’ Kirk glared at the doctor.

* * *

Pike had been injured, and it looked bad. There was no way that Kirk was leaving him alone now. ‘Come, shoo, out of my sickbay, you can visit him in the morning.’ Bones ordered; Bones were probably also going to bed soon. Kirk considered sneaking back in. But the hamster in his belly was possible running in a circles, and his feet were swelling up, he needed to sleep, no matter how loath he was to abandon Pike in the sickbay with the gamma shift nurse.

Besides, Kirk had no excuse for not going to that meeting in the morning, especially since he was pretty sure that with the shape Pike was in, he would not be there to lead it.

The problem was that when he returned to his quarters, he couldn’t sleep. There was a constant tapping on the inner side of his stomach; it was the baby that could not sleep as well.

He slit his t-shirt up, on his back in bed, he moved a hand to meet the kick of the little creature.

‘I am worried for your father too,’ he said, he didn’t know where that had come from. He didn’t even know whether the captain was the father or the child, not that is mattered.

Kirk still couldn’t sleep, and he decided to look at his messages. It was clear that captain Pike had gotten hand on a PADD as well, because he had sent at least two reminders about things Kirk needed to take care of before the meeting the following day.

Pike had probably come to terms with not being allowed to leave sickbay then.

He replied to the top one with a, ‘Do you want me to go through the laboratory reports as well, or do we wait until you are back?’ Pike probably would prefer to be there when the science results were presented.

Pike clearly hadn’t fallen asleep as well. He answered with a ‘Why aren’t you sleeping?’ Kirk found that a bit hypocritical. Kirk wrote to the night nurse instead to say that she should give Pike a sedative and confiscate his PADD.

He was going to be murdered for this one.

Kirk wanted to go to sickbay and see whether captain Pike was feeling any better the day afterwards, but he had overslept and was late for alpha shift.

He hurried to the bridge. Spock immediately moved from the command chair to make room for him. ‘How is the captain?’ Spock asked. ‘Don’t know.’ Spock raised an eyebrow, clearly having expected Kirk to have been to sickbay to see him.

Kirk struggled to sit more comfortably, but the muscle pains in back had come back, and he should probably have gotten more sleep, he tried to suppress a yawn.

The department head meeting was getting really long as way, his feet had swollen up, and he wondered if he could leave early.

‘Commander, are you okay?’ Uhura asked worried as he had been changing position in the chair for the hundreds time.

He wanted to go to sickbay, unfortunately he was not certain that he wanted to face captain Pike right now. However, he was pretty certain that he could get Bones to get him something if he asked nicely. Maybe even in his office.

‘Captain Pike is angry with you.’ Bones said, what else was new? ‘Because of the sedative?’ ‘Among other things.’ Pike was in the other end of the sickbay; he was sleeping and possible he had not noticed Kirk’s presence.

Kirk made a gesture that they should go somewhere else. ‘What?’ Bones asked, he knew exactly what Kirk meant. ‘Can we go somewhere private?’ He asked, McCoy rolled his eyes. ‘Why?’

‘I need a check-up.’ Kirk said, at least getting McCoy’s attention ‘James Kirk voluntarily going for a check-up. Miracles do happen. Fine in here.’ McCoy pulled him into his office.

‘Sit down, what is wrong?’ Kirk winced, he was dizzy and his feet were really swollen.

‘Just scan me Bones, I don’t feel that good.’ McCoy rolled his eyes. ‘You are pregnant you aren’t supposed to feel good. I told you this.’ Kirk really didn’t need a lecture right now.

McCoy sighed and began scanning. ‘Hmm, okay, I am sorry, but you need a full examination in the sickbay.’ Kirk hated this. ‘Why can’t you just give me something here?’ Kirk asked annoyed.

‘You are beginning to show signs of pre-eclampsia, this was not treatable before, but it is quite serious when it is this early. You can talk to the captain while I treat you.’ Kirk didn’t feel like talking to the captain, who normally just complained about him.

‘Take a biobed, I’ll come when I have replicated the medicine for it.’ Kirk nodded and sat up on the bed next to where captain Pike was.

The captain was awake, clearly in pain and half drugged. Kirk hoped that he wouldn’t be too pissed. Kirk didn’t think that he could both handle that and the nervous feeling that something might be wrong with the pregnancy.

McCoy had seemed somewhat calm about it, but Bones was usual calm about anything, so that wasn’t an indicator.

‘Hallo.’ Pike said very hazily, it appeared he had been given a new boost of painkillers. ‘Hi,’ Kirk said. ‘How are you feeling?’ Kirk asked sitting on the edge of the biobed. ‘You got me sedated.’ He didn’t seem too angry, probably due to the drugs. Kirk dreaded how the captain would feel about it when he became fully lucid.

‘Sorry about that, captain. I am taking care of everything, you can relax.’ Pike suppressed a grunt that indicated that he challenged everything in that statement.

‘Right, Kirk, that doesn’t give me any kind of confidence.’ It wouldn’t. ‘How long will you be out? Do you know?’ Kirk asked, Pike’s leg was already showing signs that the skin regeneration was working. It looked visibly better already.

Pike coughed, ‘In a week, I think.’ Kirk nodded; Pike was probably going to interfere in ship’s business anyway.

McCoy returned with a hypo-spray, and some other instruments. He said and looked at Kirk: ‘It will take fifty minutes.’ Kirk nodded; he already dreaded an hour with captain Pike in sickbay.

‘Okay, lay back, we need to clean up residuals in your blood,’ McCoy put a drop in his upper arm, which made Kirk wince. It didn’t feel very comfortable and he had a feeling that captain Pike was observing the strange display.

Pike had been following, because as soon as Doctor McCoy had left, he looked at Kirk. ‘Are you injured?’ He asked. Kirk shock his head, ‘Apparently I have pre-eclampsia.’ He said. Pike looked somewhat uncomfortable with being confronted by this.

‘Oh,’ he said, clearly regretted that he had asked. ‘Is Spock in command?’ Pike asked, of course he would worry about that first. Kirk didn’t know why that hurt him so much; he would have like Pike to ask him about it and to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.

But of course, he was pretty certain that Pike didn’t really care.

Kirk leaned back in the elevated backseat of the bed. It felt good to get his feet up. He hoped that he would be able to get his boots off in the evening.

* * *

It actually took almost two weeks before Pike was ready to return to duty. Kirk briefed him in sickbay in the afternoons before going alone to his quarters. Realising that he not only missed the sex, Pike had also been more drawn back the last weeks.

He knew that Pike had been let out of sickbay, when the captain with a cane showed up at alpha shift. Kirk was so surprised that it took him a moment before he realised that he would need to get up from the command chair.

‘Captain on the bridge,’ he then said and finally got up, the rest of the bridge crew stood up as well. Pike made a hand gesture showing that they could sit down again. Kirk went to the tactical station.

‘I expect a full briefing at ten, Mr. Kirk,’ Pike said, Kirk nodded, he really didn’t need that, that was going to be annoying. He should have compiled a report already. And Pike was going to complain about something.

‘Yes, captain,’ he said a little crestfallen.

* * *

It was clear that Kirk had tried to get everything from the last two weeks compiled. He was rushing over getting the PADDs and the messages. Actually, he had scheduled the meeting just as much to have a talk with his XO. He had been so heavily drugged when Kirk had been in the sickbay two weeks before.

But Kirk had clearly been seriously sick, and possible also afraid. And he had not really had the chance to find out whether Kirk was actually okay.

For one, Pike was more eager to get the meeting over with. ‘Okay, very nice, commander,’ he said as a conclusion, Kirk looked surprisingly surprised at the compliment.

Looking down for a moment, ‘How are you, Jim?’ He asked while Kirk collected the material he had scattered over the table for the briefing.

‘Pardon?’ He asked. Pike leaned over the table.

‘Are you all right, James?’ Pike asked more slowly. Kirk looked confused, casting a quick glance at his stomach that was being hidden behind the thick uniform.

He quickly looked up again. ‘I do not know what you are talking about, sir.’ Kirk knew exactly what they were talking about.

He was getting up. ‘Don’t get up,’ Pike said, Kirk sat back down. Pike studied the young man for a moment.

Wondered whether Kirk had ever been scared about anything. If it was him, who was pregnant he would be scared out of his wits.

Not Kirk though; he didn’t seem scared at all.

‘The pre-eclampsia,’ Pike clarified. For a moment Kirk looked confused, maybe it was treated and he wasn’t thinking about it, or he was surprised that Pike would remember it since he had been so drugged when it had come up.

Kirk flushed red, as he was taking a moment to come up with an explanation.

‘Oh, Bones is treating it, I need to get my blood cleaned every week though’ Pike looked worried at him. That did seem somewhat worrying. ‘Do you need to be put on limited duty?’ He wanted to say something supporting, but couldn’t really come up with anything.

Kirk shock his head. ‘No, it’s fine. I am lucky that Bones can treat it, previously the only treatment was inducing the birth prematurely.’

‘Are you coming by later?’ Pike asked, he missed Kirk. Not just because of the sex, but also because of the company. Kirk made a shrug. That could mean anything.

Kirk did show up later in fact. He grinned while he moved into Pike’s quarters. Already beginning to Kiss Pike even before the door had closed behind them.

Pike moved his hand under Kirk’s uniform jacket. Trailing his hands upwards on Kirk’s back. Opening his mouth. Kirk was opening his jacket on the front. ‘Lights 10%.’ Kirk said. Pike wanted to ask whether they could keep the lights on.

But it appeared to be a tricky subject. The young man was very visible pregnant in the thick un-shapely uniform. The outline in his black tank top was that he looked very pregnant.

* * *

It had been several weeks later, and Kirk had stopped to come by. They were like they always were at work. Pike didn’t know what to do, he liked that Kirk came by, he just wanted it to be more than sex. However, he also didn’t know if either he or Kirk was ready for a serious relationship. It complicated it that Kirk was going to have a baby.

Kirk had however, seemed more uncomfortable than usual at the bridge, and since Pike had not had a chance to talk to him in a week, he decided to go to Kirk’s quarter in the evening. Kirk always came to him. He had actually not been at Kirk’s quarter since he had found him throwing up almost 19 weeks previously.

Why was he getting nervous? He shouldn’t be nervous. Even if he was. Maybe Kirk had visitors, or was somewhere else. Pike made a sharp intake of breath. And knocked.

‘Come in.’ He could hear Kirk carefree call.

He looked very surprised that it was Pike that was at the door. ‘Christopher,’ He got up from his bed, surprised. He was wearing only a very tight tank top and sweat pants. He had clearly expected someone else.

‘What’s up? Let me just get a uniform.’ He said, bumbling around to look for his clothes. ‘You don’t need to, I am not staying long, I didn’t mean to disturb.’ Pike said, not really knowing what to say, already regretting interrupting Kirk’s privacy.

Kirk had an open welcoming expression; he didn’t look unhappy. ‘Do you want a cup of tea?’ Kirk asked uncharacteristically relaxed. Pike sat down at the small table arrangement. ‘Yes, please,’ he answered. Kirk nodded, he looked pleased that Pike said yes.

As Kirk’s back was turned, he cast a look at a scan image, placed on a shelf with different types of books. He would guess that it was a picture of the baby.

He found it a bit intriguing that Kirk would need a picture of it, when it was inside him all the time.

Kirk returned with the tea.

His looked really round when not in uniform. It made Pike a bit uncomfortable, Kirk sat down as well. ‘So, what can I do for you, captain?’ He asked sipping from the tea. Kirk always drank coffee. Most likely, Doctor McCoy had forced the change.

Kirk moved a hand down his belly, supporting it underneath. It looked like an unconscious thing. But it made Pike feel even more uncomfortable.

‘He is really kicking at me.’ Kirk took a sharp intake of breath. Pike didn’t know that it was a boy, he looked at Kirk at the intimate detail.

‘Ehm.’ Pike was a bit confused at the moment. He was actually a bit curious about the baby. ‘I miss you.’ That sounded wrong, it sounded like he missed the sex. Kirk sighed.

‘Yeah, Bones said I needed to have a break with the sex, sorry, should have told ya.’ He said. He should, but more because Pike was worried. Was Kirk okay? Kirk made a non-chalet movement with the hand.

‘Something about my female reproductive organs are growing, and… hrm…’ Suddenly remembering who he was talking to.

Pike looked into his hands. ‘We can do something else than having sex.’ He said. Actually, he really wanted to do other things with Kirk. Kirk looked at him surprised. He looked like it had hit a nerve.

‘I can’t, I mean…’ Kirk trailed off, ‘you look so…’ Pike leaned over the table. ‘I look so what, Kirk?’ Kirk looked down, he refused to meet his eyes. ‘…disgusted.’ Kirk finished. Pike didn’t know what he was talking about. He wasn’t disgusted, why would Kirk even think that? ‘What should I think was disgusting?’ Pike asked softly.

If Kirk was referring to the pregnancy, it was not sexy and maybe a little strange, perhaps, but definitely not disgusting.

Pike moved his chair towards the younger man, he put a hand under Kirk’s t-shirt on the skin, just where Kirk had had his own hand a moment before. Pike leaned forward in the seat while Kirk passively stared at Pike’s hand without removing it.

Pike place his other hand on the other side, caressing both sides of Kirk’s stomach. He studied it; it was smooth and round and the bellybutton was slightly protruding.

Kirk looked like he actually enjoyed what he was doing, that was good. Pike wanted to reassure him. ‘Is it okay?’ Pike asked. Kirk returned a small ‘Ehm hm’ as a confirmation and a tentative smile.

He felt taps from the skin underneath his hand, not certain if it was the baby. It repeated itself.

‘Is that the baby?’ He asked, Kirk nodded. ‘He is hiccupping.’ Kirk explained. It felt like it too, it was small jumping motions. The baby pushed outwards, probably he tried to get rid of the hiccups.

Thinking that it would be inappropriate to keep his hands there any longer, Pike redrew them.

‘I didn’t agree, but I am not disgusted.’ He said, finally. Kirk pulled his shirt back over his belly, he looked a bit calmer. ‘Okay.’

Kirk looked emotional and tired, and Pike decided to let him sleep. Outside the room, he was looking at the palms of his hands where the baby had touched him, he breathed out. Why did this affect him so much? Even if that child was biological his, which was unlikely, it was not his child, it was Kirk’s. He shouldn’t get attached to any of them.

Pike began going to Kirk’s quarters instead of Kirk coming to him.

* * *

He had actually grown a birth canal. Doctor McCoy had placed him not the bio-bed in the private exam room. He was half naked.

‘I am going to check it afterwards,’ he said. ‘Is that why I have been bleeding so much?’ He asked. He felt very uncomfortable. His stomach had gone completely hard. ‘Are you having a Braxton-Hicks contraction right now?’ Bones asked. Putting a hand, feeling for the muscle cramp going down.

‘Yes.’ It wasn’t painful, so he guessed that was what it was. ‘Okay, it is stopping, He pressed on the sides.’ ‘Auch, Bones, that really hurt,’ Kirk complained. McCoy looked at the medical scan. ‘I can see that you have stopped having sex, that is good.’ Kirk didn’t find that good. And even less good that doctor McCoy knew.

‘I haven’t had sex in almost three months,’ Kirk whined. If one didn’t count blowjobs, the captain was not cheap on blowjobs.

‘Relax, he will be out in less than two weeks.’ McCoy promised. ‘I will do a C-section as soon as your birth starts naturally.’

* * *

Bones didn’t keep on his promise. Four weeks later, he almost couldn’t walk. When captain Pike entered the bridge, he had even trouble getting up from the command chair.

He held onto the side of his belly painfully. Trying to wield his massive body to get up before Pike made his way there. Pike shot him a look but did not comment.

At least the captain didn’t ask if he needed a hand to get up. Small mercies, he supposed.

He waddled to sit down at tactical. Sitting down was also uncomfortable. He was almost two weeks past his due date. The baby wasn’t showing any sign of post-maturity, the placenta was working perfectly. The treatment for the pre-eclampsia had completely removed that problem. There was no reason to induce anything or do a c-section.

And the baby was as suborn as Kirk. He did not show any inclination that he wanted to leave. No matter how big he was for his apartment. Spock shot him a sympathetic glance. Even Uhura looked like she felt sorry for him.

Kirk was not doing full shifts and that had meant a lot more work for the captain and Spock. He convinced himself that that was the reason why captain Pike hadn’t showed up since before his due date. Kirk, knew deep down, however, that the real reason probably was that the captain didn’t want to be deal with the impending birth.

Kirk had used a lot of time to figure out on what actually to do when the baby was born. He had decided to stay on the Enterprise for the time being. They also had at least two months until they reached a suitable spaceport, where he could be let off.

He had gotten a crib. And baby clothes, everything else could be replicated when the baby was there.

His skin was itchy, and he wondered whether Bones could give him something for that as well. He was already getting medication for constipation, pre-eclampsia, headache, swollen feet, muscle cramps, and allergy to something in one of the other medications. The baby had hit 4 kg. But apparently that was okay as long as the baby was getting bigger and not smaller. Kirk was at least getting bigger.

* * *

He was surprised that Pike actually turned up in the evening ‘Don’t get up, Jim.’ He said. Kirk was relieved, at this point he was not certain that he could get up.

‘You have requested a maternity nurse.’ According to star fleet practices crew members with small children were allowed to have a nurse for eight hours a day during their shift. Pike couldn’t complain about that. Kirk was already getting agitated.

‘Yes, I have.’ Kirk said, straining his back while he struggled to get up again. Pike rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t get agitated. I have a few suggestions from the available staff, we are too much in deep space to board anyone more specific. When we are at star base 9, other options might be available.’ He said.

Kirk blinked a few times and accepted the PADD with the suggestions. ‘Is that the only reason you came down here, captain?’ He asked. He wanted to offer Pike anything, but it felt like an insurmountable task to get up.

‘Can you make us some tea, sir?’ He asked instead. Pike nodded. ‘Sure.’ He moved to the replicator.

‘I would have thought that doctor McCoy would have induced labour by now.’ He said. Yeah, that was a troubling subject. It was rare that Pike asked about these things, so he must have been really curious.

Kirk rolled his eyes. ‘Well, you know Bones.’ He stopped; the baby was making a grinding movement in his pelvis. He winched. ‘The baby is fine, some babies, especially boys, apparently need a little longer.’ He was getting checked every day at this point.

He hoped desperately at every appointment that today, Bones would decide to get the baby out. But the doctor just said that everything was fine and that the baby would come when it was ready.

He gasped, as the baby moved again. Pike returned with the tea. ‘Thanks, captain, I’ll look these over,’ Kirk indicated at the PADD. Grateful that the maternity nurse wasn’t an issue. Pike sat down at the chair with his own tea.

‘So, do you have everything else you need?’ Pike asked and looked at the baby stuff. Kirk felt a lump in his throat, he had become more emotional these last couple of weeks. He wanted a father for the child as well. But it had been his own choice to not look for one.

He could feel his eyes get wet. ‘Yeah, yeah, I am being taken care of.’ He had at some point thought about asking captain Pike to be there during the delivery. But had decided against it. Pike had not showed any inclination that he would have any interest in being there. And these past weeks had only amplified that thought.

He winched as the child screwed himself into his pelvis again. ‘Does it hurt?’ Pike asked. ‘Don’t worry, I am not in labour or anything.’ Kirk said and tried to move a little, hopefully the baby would stop whatever he was doing.

Pike nodded, relieved. Kirk really wanted that baby to come out right now, Pike would probably prefer it waited until after he had left Kirk’s quarters. He was so big at this point and he wanted this to end and get his son out.

He also wanted captain Pike to sleep with him, and he didn’t want to be alone. At this point he was not even certain that he was able to have sex at all.

He knew that Pike would probably find it horrible, but he had to ask. ‘Christopher, can you stay tonight?’ Pike looked at him surprised. ‘Why?’ He narrowed his eyes. Because he was afraid, but he couldn’t really admit that.

‘I know it is a lot to ask.’ Kirk said, Pike could of course say no. There was a small break, before Pike said. ‘It’s okay, Jim, I’ll stay if you want me to.’

He looked so ugly, that normally he would have preferred Pike not to see him like that, but at this time fear and comfort won over vanity.

Pike even agreed to sleep in his bed, cuddling him, He couldn’t sleep on the back at this point without getting dizzy. Pike snuggled up to him from behind, his warm breath was on his neck. Pike had sneaked his hand over the swollen belly. He moved a thumb in calming motions on the upper part of his stomach the baby was struggling around underneath, trying to create more space.

It the baby had been susceptible to reason; he could have been told that there wasn’t going to become more space.

He was certain that Pike could feel the baby. The baby struggled forcefully upwards towards his ribs. Just where Pike’s hand was at this moment.

At least Pike wasn’t redrawing his hand, he was making soft movements on the taunt skin. He kissed Kirk on the neck slowly and lovingly. Kirk wondered what captain Pike was thinking at this point.

How captain Pike had fallen asleep with all the trashing and turning Kirk had done was a mystery. Kirk couldn’t sleep, however, and he had to get up to use the bathroom, which was not infrequent during the night.

He just hoped that he didn’t wakeup Pike. He struggled up and waddled to the refresher. His belly had gone stone hard. Another Braxton Hicks, he had been having those for 30 weeks. They were just filling more of his stomach at this point. At this point it felt like a huge rock had been put inside his belly. He wouldn’t be surprised if the baby came out weighting twenty kilograms.

He needed to get strength enough to waddle back to bed, he held a hand under his belly as if the huge stone would fall to the floor if he didn’t.

* * *

Pike woke with Kirk moving around. The other man wasn’t quiet. Kirk gave out a grunt as he fought to get back to the bed again. ‘Lights 25%’ Pike said. Kirk leaned over the table. It looked like he didn’t have enough strength to make it the last two meters to the bed.

He looked like he was about to rupture. Like a huge swollen balloon, he was holding the lower part of his belly with one hand.

‘Christopher, don’t worry this is normal.’ He said panting, it didn’t look normal at all to Pike. It looked in fact very abnormal.

Realising that Kirk wasn’t going anywhere on his own, Pike got up and moved to where Kirk was leaning over the table. He took a firm grip on Kirk and hoisted him down on the bed. Kirk made a groan. ‘Can’t be on my back,’ he complained and rolled to the side.

It looked extremely uncomfortable and Pike wished that there was something he could do to ease the other’s discomfort. He put an examining hand on Kirk’s stomach. It was rock hard. The skin was completely taunt, and it looked larger than it had been before.

He also looked like he was in a lot of pain.

‘Commander, are you sure that you are not in labour?’ Pike asked suspiciously. ‘Yes, I am sure.’ Pike doubted that, but didn’t really feel like he could say anything against it.

‘Listen, Jim, maybe you need to be checked out in sickbay.’ Pike tried, the other man had closed eyes and was gasping.

‘I don’t want to, I already did that once, and Bones said that I needed to be more patient, and that I wouldn’t be in any doubt.’

‘When was that?’ Pike asked him.

‘Three weeks ago.’

‘You haven’t been to sickbay in three weeks?’ Pike asked surprised, it didn’t sound like doctor McCoy to not follow up.

‘Of course, I was there yesterday morning to get the baby checked out.’

He groaned in apparent pain again. ‘Can’t you just go back to bed, Christopher?’ Kirk asked hopefully while he clutched his belly. Pike was considering what to do.

Kirk tried to get up again. ‘What are you doing?’ Pike asked and hoped that they were going to the sickbay. ‘Bathroom.’ ‘You just went in there,’ Pike protested. Kirk appeared to be bleeding as well; a strain on blood trailed down his leg. Pike pushed the young man back. ‘No, you are definitely not.’ Kirk struggled against him.

He looked a little desperate.

‘I really need to go, please.’ Pike pressed the intercom. ‘Doctor McCoy, report immediately to commander Kirk’s quarters,’ he ordered. ‘Bones is just going to complain that you woke him up.’ Kirk was rubbing his bloated stomach.

He tried again to get up. ‘Really Christopher, I don’t think I can hold it in very long,’ he said. ‘I’ll let you go to the bathroom as soon as doctor McCoy is here.’ Kirk looked really desperate now.

Pike let doctor McCoy in, who didn’t look too surprised that Pike was there, in his undershirt. ‘He says that I need your permission to go the bathroom.’ Kirk pleaded.

McCoy narrowed his eyes. ‘You are bleeding quite a bit, I can understand his reluctance,’ McCoy said. ‘Jim, do you think you can walk?’ Pike didn’t think Kirk could walk. Kirk looked horrified of the thought as well. McCoy came to the same realisation and sighed, before he pressed the intercom. ‘Sickbay, dispatch a gurney to commander Kirk’s quarters.’ ‘Shouldn’t you be examining me?’ Kirk asked in the background.

McCoy rolled his eyes and moved to Kirk, who was having muscle spasms. He turned on a medical tricorder. Pike looked on with a lot of worry, ‘Is the baby okay?’ Kirk asked with a very small voice. ‘Yes, he is,’ McCoy said. ‘Nothing to worry about.’ McCoy made a sign to Pike, before he pulled him to the side. Surprisingly, since it left Kirk alone on the bed in pain.

‘Something is wrong, we need to get him to sickbay fast.’ Pike nodded seriously.

‘Is it with the baby?’ He asked.

‘No, with Jim.’ Pike felt a lump in his throat.

Pike kneeled down next to Kirk again on the bed. He removed sticky hair from Kirk’s forehead and reached to hold his hand. ‘So, can I go to the bathroom now?’ Kirk asked hopefully. ‘Absolutely not,’ McCoy answered.

Pike held a firm grip on Kirk’s hand all the way to sickbay. Kirk looked like he was getting worse, pain rippled visible through him. Pike would guess that this was labour pains, but it seemed so fruitless.

‘I need to throw up.’ Kirk was rambling and trashing from side to side during the short turbo lift ride. He was on the gurney, half on the side, half on the back.

He squeezed Pike’s hand like his life depended on it. From time to time he looked him in the eyes, his big blue eyes. Silently they begged him for something. Probably, to make this stop. Pike desperately wanted to make this stop as well.

Pike half carried Kirk to the biobed as they finally reached sickbay. Kirk had begun to vomit and a nurse held an emesis bowl in front of his mouth. Not much came up, it seemed that Kirk barely had the strength to throw up.

‘Amniotic fluid embolism, c-section now,’ McCoy yelled at nurse Chapel, as he threw on scrubs and disinfectant

Pike could not decipher what was happening, but his own body entered a state of chock. ‘Jim,’ Pike rasped; the seizure faded into unconsciousness. ‘What’s going on?’ Pike asked towards McCoy. But the doctor didn’t have time to answer. Nurse Chapel turned on the disinfectant lighting over Kirk’s biobed, and disappeared to prepare for surgery.

The next few minutes was a blur; Pike was held on to Kirk’s hand and had his other hand on Kirk’s forehead. Nurse Chapel was incubating Kirk and was putting in a drop.

McCoy expertly cut through Kirk’s stomach with a laser scalpel, before he could pull out the baby. He freed the infant completely and pulled off the remains of the amniotic sac. Without ceremony, McCoy cut the cord and clamped it.

Realising that he couldn’t take care of both Kirk and the child; Pike found himself moving to take the child from the doctor.

‘He is crashing.’ He could hear in the background. ‘Doctor,’ the nurse said desperately. ‘I see it.’ The instruments were going crazy. Pike tried to focus on the baby. He was whimpering, maybe he knew that his parent was dying just next to him.

Pike stood for a second petrified with the wet sticky new-born. His short hair was greased in liquid. And his wrinkled pink skin had a purple alien pattern.

If Pike had not known it was a human, Pike would have been certain that this was a creature from another planet. The baby needed to be cleaned and dried off, he realised. The sickbay personnel were too focused on Kirk in the background to help.

The world was moving in slow-motion as Pike found himself putting the infant on a biobed and cleaning him with a medical cloth. The child was silent, confused at the sudden change in environment, as he slowly turned more normal coloured. He didn’t know what to put on him, so he wrapped a medical blanket around the infant.

He was struggling to keep himself upright in the shock of what was going on behind him.

‘He is back.’ He could hear the nurse say relieved. The machines were still beeping though. Pike looked back at the scene. Taken out of a horror story.

The little boy cried in his blanket; he was unhappy about something. Pike moved him to his arm, trying to give him comfort. ‘Your father is going to be okay,’ he whispered to the small child. He was not certain, but he hoped.

‘His organs are failing.’ He could hear doctor McCoy say to himself. Pike would want to be with Kirk, to hold his hand, even when unconscious, the other man might need him.

But he could help best with taking care of the baby in his arms. He was calm on the outside, but he was burning with chock of the events that had just transpired. The tiny boy began to cry, and Pike realised that he did not know what to do to make him safe.

He realised that the baby was also distracting doctor McCoy. He left for the adjourning room.

It was just the two of them alone in there.

Pike struggled to figure out the setting for infant formula from the replicator while he desperately held the crying baby to his chest. He breathed out relieved when he finally found the right product in the menu. He had no idea what Kirk had planned with regard to feeding, but the infant clearly wanted something now.

The little child needed food and safety and he needed Jim. If Jim survived. It was not until now, Pike realised that there was a real possibility that Kirk wasn’t going to come out of this alive. That this small innocent boy was everything left of him in this world. The new-born even looked like Kirk too.

The baby was trying to suck on the bottle when Doctor McCoy returned. The doctor looked a bit surprised. ‘Oh, you found a bottle for him, that is good.’ Pike looked up. ‘Is he…’ He couldn’t make himself to ask whether Kirk had made it.

McCoy clearly knew what he was going to ask. ‘Jim isn’t dead,’ he said while he cleaned his hands. ‘He is unconscious, he had multiple organ failure. It will take some time I am afraid.’ He analysed Pike who held the baby closely to his chest.

‘When you are finished, I better take a look at the young man,’ McCoy said.

‘How long will it before commander Kirk wakes up?’ Pike asked, when doctor McCoy examined the baby. ‘I don’t know,’ the doctor hesitated, ‘you should probably prepare for the worst.’ He put a diaper and onesie on the small boy.

‘Is the baby okay?’ Pike asked, looking over McCoy’s shoulder. ‘Yes, if you like you can take him out of here today. The noises in a sickbay are not good for him’ Pike stared at him surprised. ‘Legally he is also yours,’ McCoy explained. Pike hesitated. ‘Does Jim know that?’ ‘No, and he was in charge of all tests on the baby until he lost consciousness. But given the circumstances, I ran the test anyway.’

Pike didn’t want to do anything that Kirk was opposed to. But he could see the reason why McCoy had done a genetic test on the baby, faced with the possibility that the child would lose his only parent.

It didn’t matter that it was biologically his son, Pike realised, he looked at the perfect little pink baby. He was his father; no test was necessary to know that.

‘If you don’t want him, I’ll find someone to look after him until Jim hopefully pulls through,’ McCoy said when Pike hesitated. No, Pike definitely wanted his son.

‘No, no, I can take him.’ He accepted the small child.

Staring at his son, realising what task he had just been given. Sole responsibility for this little being. And he was all alone. He had not expected to be a parent, at the most, he had hoped that Kirk would have allowed him to be involved on the side-line. As a friend, perhaps.

Now Jim might never wake up, leaving a son behind. Their son.

* * *

Kirk woke up alone. His head hurt; it was dark in sickbay. Getting up, something was different, he moved a hand to his stomach, it was all flappy and soft, he realised that the baby was gone. He sat up and looked around, the baby was not anywhere in sickbay either. Kirk could feel a tear running down his cheek.

He had lost his son. The nurse came running towards him, as he sat up. ‘Commander, you shouldn’t be getting up.’ He didn’t care.

He had started to hyperventilate as well. Why was it semi-dark? Was this gamma-shift? He was completely confused.

He just wanted to go back to his quarters and not deal with this. Something had gone horrible, horrible wrong. He vaguely remembered being rushed to sickbay, and Pike holding him. Being worried. That man was never worried.

He struggled to get up. He was under a blanket on the back, in medical. The nurse looked at him with some alarm, his muscles felt weak, ‘You need to wait until doctor McCoy comes back.’ She said, failing in getting him back to his bed.

Tears flooded down his cheeks now, he didn’t realise that he was shaking before he came outside. Walking to his own rooms. It was clearly gamma shift. The hall ways were empty, he was not feeling very well, his mouth was dry and his stomach was hurting. It felt empty.

His room had been cleaned up. The baby crib had been removed together with the few baby supplies he had gotten. He held back his tears.

He was pretty certain that someone had put on fresh bedlinen and cleaned the carpet. No trace of fluids or anything else that might have been spilt during the first part of the birth.

The refresher had also been meticulous cleaned. He wondered for a moment how it had been done so quickly, when he caught a glimpse of the ships clock. Ten days. He had been out for ten days, somehow that made it worse.

His son had been gone for ten days. And the worst part was that he should have been there to mourn him.

The room felt empty without the crib, and he felt more alone than he had been in his entire life. He pulled himself onto the bed.

He could hear someone at the door. No-one should know he was here, he just wanted to be left alone in his misery.

He didn’t answer, when someone put in an override code. ‘Bones, go away,’ he said, with closed eyes.

It was not Bones; he could see the faint contour of captain Pike that knelt next to him. He said softly. ‘Jim, you should come back to sickbay.’ Pike pulled at his arm. For unknown reasons the gamma shift nurse had alerted the captain.

‘I want to be alone,’ he said, Pike sat down next to him on the bed. ‘You are not thinking rationally, you might be delirious. Come, doctor McCoy will check you out.’

Kirk could feel desperation. ‘This was what you wanted all along, wasn’t it?’ He asked, Pike thought that the child shouldn’t have existed.

‘I don’t know what you are talking about, Jim,’ Pike said. ‘With the baby, you didn’t want me to have him.’ Kirk was sobbing into the duvet on his bed.

Pike moved a hand over his neck. The captain was not in uniform, Kirk noticed, just a worn-out t-shirt and pyjamas pants and boots. It was such a strange set of clothes that Kirk stopped his rant for a moment.

‘I have not taken him away from you,’ Pike said calmly. No, he hadn’t, Kirk knew that he was being unreasonable, he loved captain Pike, Christopher. And Pike had held him during that nightmarish birth, and he had been there every time Kirk had asked for anything.

Kirk sobbed even more, feeling even more guilty about his accusations. Pike kept caressing his neck. ‘Do you want to see him?’ Pike asked softly.

Kirk stopped for a moment. He hadn’t even thought about that, of course they couldn’t bury the baby out here in space, he imagined the little boy being somewhere dead, in the morgue.

He sat up, yes, he wanted that. He nodded while tears still ran down his face. The constricting pain in his chest increased, while Pike helped him up. ‘Okay, come on,’ Pike said. Kirk’s whole body shook. Afraid how he was going to react, he let Pike lead him into the turbo lift.

He didn’t really register anything; it took him several meters after the turbo lift door had closed behind them before he realised that his was not the deck where the morgue was on; this was the deck where Pike’s quarters were.

Pike kept their dead son in his quarters? He felt his throat constricting.

‘He might be sleeping.’ Pike said apologetic as he entered first, the light setting was 20%.

Wait, who was sleeping? There was a low crying sound that of a small child. A uniformed yeoman sat on one of the chairs in Pike’s room. Next to a bedside-crib.

Why was there a yeoman in Pike’s quarters in the middle of the night? Had Pike replaced him that fast?

The yeoman was a very young man. He looked somewhat surprised to see Kirk. ‘Is he awake?’ Pike asked with a low voice, and received a nod in reply. ‘Okay, I can take it from here. Thank you Mr. Simms.’

Kirk felt like his world was going in slow motion. As the yeoman got up and disappeared out of the door. He stood transfixed a moment as he watched Pike walking to the crib.

Pike picked up a small bundle. ‘Okay, shh,’ he whispered completely focused on the bundle in his arms.

Pike looked back towards Kirk. As if he was expecting something. Suddenly Kirk didn’t know what to do.

Maybe afraid that Kirk was going to faint, or become sick, Pike carefully put the bundle down again. ‘James,’ he sighed and pulled Kirk to sit on the edge of the bed.

Kirk had a clear view on the content of the crib, which was situated between the chair and the bed.

The bundle moved. Maybe it was because Kirk was still in a sort of shock, not knowing whether he should believe his eyes or that he had settled on the knowledge that he had lost his child.

Pike picked up the baby again. He shot Kirk an expecting look and sat down next to him. ‘I’ll help you hold him, okay?’ He said, Kirk nodded. His body still trembled. The small pink face of the little boy was sticking out of the blanket and he was waiving around with a small chubby fist.

Pike supported the head of the infant, while he was on Kirk’s arm, softly assisting Kirk in holding the baby right.

Kirk looked back towards Pike in shock. Finally, realising that the baby was here and he was okay. The small chubby infant, so extremely small was trying to hold his eyes open to see him.

What had made the captain take care of the baby? He wondered. It even appeared that the child lived there with captain Pike in Pike’s quarters.

It was strange, Pike had never even wanted Kirk to stay in his private quarters.

Kirk wanted the baby to come back with him to his quarters. But he didn’t even know how to feed him. Or change his diapers. And he was so very, very tired. He could feel the infant was lifted from his arms again as his eyes closed. Tears poured down his cheeks.

He wanted to ask whether he could stay until the morning, but before he gained enough strength to do that, he collapsed in Pike’s strong arms. He was lowered backwards on the bed and a blanket was pulled over him.

Kirk woke up with the sound of a baby crying. In his nightmarish dream state, however, it was impossible to locate the source of the sound. The cries must have come from his son, Kirk realised. He struggled to sit up, desperate to save his child. He tried to locate the sound of the baby, but the sound faded away as he became fully awake. And he settled back into the soft madras.

Captain Pike sat in the chair; the small boy, dressed in a white onesie, was placed in his lap. Pike was doing something with a bottle of baby formula. He had let the baby’s tiny head rest in the palm of his big hand and had the bottle in the other.

The captain and the baby seemed completely immersed in each other.

Pike had all his focus directed at the infant as he softly asked: ‘Okay, ready this time?’ He placed a little of the milk on the infant’s mouth before carefully giving the child full access to the bottle. The baby began to suck eagerly. ‘Little less fast, okay, small break.’ The baby complained as Pike angled the bottle to slow the flow.

Kirk had never seen the captain being so attentive and caring about anything, and for a moment he considered whether this was part of the dream.

As the strange display in front of him unfolded, Kirk couldn’t breathe. He felt that the spell would be broken if he moved even the slightest. He dared not interrupt the intimate moment between father and son.

An intimate moment that he was not part of.

Pike moved the infant to his shoulder and placed the finished bottle on the table. The baby made small happy sounds as Pike held the baby’s head and bounced him slowly. He had been too absorbed in the child that he hadn’t noticed that Kirk observed them.

Kirk should want to take the baby and run as fast as he could. But he could not take his son away from his father.

* * *

Only when Pike had placed the baby back in the crib, did he notice that Kirk had open eyes. He looked calmer and less confused than before. He had written to doctor McCoy that he should come by in the morning and check up on Kirk.

Kirk didn’t look like he was in any immediate danger, perhaps just a bit emotional and tired. Which under the circumstances no-one could really blame him.

Pike carefully placed the baby back in the crib, hoping that he would fall asleep, but the baby’s rhythm was unfortunately not adjusted to sleep most of the night.

The last two days they had just waited for Kirk to wake up. It had been such a relief when it had become clear that Kirk would come out of it without permanent injuries.

Kirk did not move; he just stared into the void. Pike would like to help him back to sickbay, or to the bathroom if he needed, but he didn’t know how to offer. Pike moved back into the bed in the only available room between the crib and Kirk. Kirk’s eyes followed him, expressionless.

‘Have you given him a name?’ Kirk suddenly asked. His voice was weak and he looked so very vulnerable. No, Pike had no idea what Kirk wanted their son to be called, so he had just called him ‘Kid’ up to this point.

He shook his head, and stared at Kirk’s blue eyes. Why would he have given the child a name? ‘No,’ he said, Kirk looked disappointed.

‘Would you have liked me to?’ Pike asked with hesitation. ‘No, no, it is fine.’ There was a small break.

‘Do you have a name for him?’ Pike asked patiently, it was probably on time that the baby should get a name.

‘I think, I would like to call him George,’ Kirk said after a little while. ‘After your father?’ Pike asked, Kirk didn’t reply but nodded. ‘I’ll start calling him George then.’

The baby was getting quiet. ‘Doctor McCoy is coming to check on you in the morning,’ Pike informed him. He hoped that this wouldn’t warrant any protest. It was almost as alarming that it didn’t.

‘Oh, okay, when you are going to alpha shift?’ He asked, ‘I am on leave for two weeks more; Spock is in command during alpha shift.’ Pike explained. There was more than enough work with the baby, and twenty-four days leave was definitely not enough. Even if he expected that Kirk would like to take some of the work with their son, now that he was awake.

‘Leave, why?’ Kirk asked alarmed. ‘Parental leave, Jim,’ he said patiently. Kirk should definitely have noticed the baby.

Something clicked for Kirk. He put the pieces of the puzzle together, and he looked unhappy with the picture.

‘Are you his other biological parent?’ Kirk asked after a while. He was clearly uncomfortably with the revelation. ‘Why did you get that checked?’ Kirk inquired on; his voice trembled.

‘Sorry.’ He knew Kirk had wanted to have this child for himself, and that was okay. But the baby had needed a father for the past ten days, and Pike had wanted to be there for his son. Their son.

He had failed in to be there for Jim.

He was afraid of some outburst from Kirk, some exclamation of how unhappy he was, He was expecting Kirk to take their son and storm out, never to look back. But Kirk just looked at him with his big blue eyes and whispered: ‘Thank you.’ This somehow made it feel even worse.

Pike had managed to get Kirk to both sip from a bit of tea, and take a bite of a biscuit, when Doctor McCoy turned up. Kirk was still on the bed, and he had not made any attempt to pick the baby up himself.

Now that the baby was awake, Pike had put him on a blanket on the floor. He was on his knees next to the infant. The baby was almost able to lift his head when on the tummy. His feather like hair fluffed around him, as Pike carefully assisted him to roll.

Any attempts at luring Kirk into joining them had so far proved futile.

McCoy looked angry when he entered but softened at the sight of Kirk, who was petrified on the bed, his face half way down the madras.

McCoy eyed George looking cute on the blanket as he angled his way in the cramped room to get to the bed.

‘Jim,’ McCoy said concerned as Kirk looked up at him. The doctor found his medical tricorder and began to scan.

‘Captain, could you and the baby go for a walk?’ McCoy asked. It came as a relief that the doctor would help to deal with this. Pike just wanted Kirk to feel better, even if that meant that Kirk would take their son and leave forever. That was okay too, just as long as Kirk was all right.

‘Of course, doctor, I just need a few things.’ He threw on a sweater and a couple of boots and rolled the infant into a blanket. The small boy looked at him with his big blue eyes, those eyes that looked like Kirk’s.

‘How long time do you need?’ The replicators could make baby formula and baby supplies if the baby was hungry or needed a diaper change. But he didn’t want to come back too early, if Kirk preferring getting examined in his quarters instead of sickbay.

McCoy looked at him gratefully, ‘30 minutes, I think,’ then back at Kirk. Pike put George in a grey sling in front of him, so the baby faced towards him.

Kirk didn’t even look at him at this point, he had his eyes closed. He hoped that doctor McCoy would persuade Kirk to return to sickbay, or at least talk to him.

Pike ended up going to the bridge. Not because he wanted to, but because of a red alert.

When he entered the bridge they were already firing, Spock was in the command chair. The baby was half asleep in the sling in front of him. ‘Don’t get up Mr. Spock,’ he said, he was not in uniform and off duty. And he was uncomfortable with bringing his son up here.

He would have thought that Kirk would have liked to show the baby off. And Pike had been under so much pressure these past ten days, that no-one had actually caught more than a glimpse of him and the child.

Not any of his previous experiences had helped him figuring out how to take care of a new-born. And Kirk being close to death in sickbay for all those days; no one knew whether he would ever come back to them, had made Pike divide all his time between sickbay and his quarters.

It had not left much time for interacting with anyone except the sickbay nurses, doctor McCoy, and yeoman Simms, who looked after the infant in emergencies.

Spock looked back again to the view screen as the attacking ship exploded. ‘Cancel red alert,’ Spock said and leaned forward, he rotated the chair towards Pike. Pike was ready to leave the bridge again, when Spock moved up to stop him.

‘Captain,’ Spock said, and made a gesture to indicate that he had vacated the chair for Pike. He looked directly at the small child that nuzzled up to Pike inside the sling.

‘It’s good to see you, sir,’ Spock said, the entire bridge crew looked at him, or more likely they looked at George. Spock looked like he really wanted to coo over the baby, and was not moving from the spot next to the chair. Uhura had also left her seat.

‘Oh, he is so cute,’ she said. Pike felt uncomfortable. ‘Well, yes, I am sure when commander Kirk is feeling better, that he would like to show him off to you all.’ He didn’t want to deprive Kirk of that.

‘When is commander Kirk coming back?’ Sulu asked. ‘I don’t know,’ Pike answered honestly.

‘Doctor McCoy is with him now, and he is awake.’ Pike freed the child from the sling, to allow him to stretch his back.

Spock indicated uncharacteristically that he would like to take the infant, and gratefully accepted the small boy. The Vulcan cuddled the baby on one arm and appeared lost to the world as he caressed the infant’s face with his hand.

Uhura had also left her station and moved over to coo over the infant in Sporks arms. ‘He even looks like a mini Kirk.’ Uhura happily chipped in. Pike leaned back in the chair, allowing for the child to be fussed over.

‘Can we go visit Jim in the sickbay?’ Uhura asked. She kept observing the baby. Pike sighed at the thought of Kirk escaping from sickbay. ‘I’ll ask him whether he is ready for visitors.’

Pike was uncertain if Kirk had informed the bridge crew that he might be the other parent of George. Everyone had accepted that it was Pike, who took care of the baby while Kirk was unable to. So, even if Kirk had not talked about the possibility, it was probably not a secret at this point.

‘Are you returning to alpha shift tomorrow, captain?’ Spock asked not looking up from the child. ‘No, sorry, commander, I still have two weeks of leave left.’ Everyone suddenly stared at him.

Okay, so possible they had not figured out he was on leave, as his service record was not accessible to personnel with lower rank. Had they just thought that part of his normal duty was to take care of Kirk’s kid?

He would of course, even if George hadn’t been his.

‘Why are you on leave?’ Sulu asked surprised, he added a ‘sir?’ Pike made a gesture towards the baby. ‘Star fleet has twenty-four days parental leave.’ He said defensively.

Okay, he was pretty sure no one had been thinking he was the other parent, up until that point that was. The bridge grew uncomfortable silent. ‘You are his father?’ Uhura asked in disbelief after some time had passed. She looked up from the baby, who now waved one of his small arms at Spock. Was that difficult to comprehend?

‘Yes, lieutenant, I am.’ He said very slowly.

‘So, you and Kirk are…’ Pike had absolutely no idea what he and Kirk were. Pike made a resigning gesture. ‘No clue,’ which somehow seemed like a more plausible answer than anything else.

‘Well, then we should congratulate you too, keptin.’ Chekov finally said. It made Pike smile. ‘Thanks ensign.’ He was beginning to think that he should get the baby out of Spock’s arms before the Vulcan thought to get one himself, he looked at Uhura.

She looked less ready to get a baby than Spock.

This was getting weird. He also needed to return to his quarters to see how Kirk was.

* * *

McCoy was trying to get him to sit up.

‘Jim, damn it, you shouldn’t have left sickbay.’ He felt so tired. ‘Your organs have been regenerated, but you are going to be tired for weeks after this.’ Kirk just nodded; he didn’t have any strength to talk.

McCoy took pity on him. ‘Okay, I understand that this is not easy for you Jim. Do you want to stay here, or do you want to go back to sickbay?’ He hadn’t mentioned Kirk’s own quarters as an option.

‘He is going to take him away from me,’ Kirk said, Pike seemed like he wanted the baby now. And he had a better juridical claim since he had been the baby’s primary caretaker.

He would lose George the same way that he was never going to see David.

‘No, he is not,’ McCoy said.

‘You saw him, Bones, he is so good with him.’ McCoy rolled his eyes. ‘He has had ten days, which you didn’t have. You should have seen him the first week; he was in constant panic.’ McCoy said.

Kirk couldn’t imagine captain Pike in constant panic.

‘I think Pike might not want me here.’ The statement made Bones make eyes again. ‘He definitely wants you here,’ he huffed.

They stopped talking when Pike entered the room; the baby was still in the sling

Kirk immediately thought about the red alert.

‘Is everything okay on the bridge?’

‘Yeah, Spock handled it.’ Okay, so his hunch about Pike going to the bridge had been correct.

Bones got up. ‘I am leaving, call me if you start feeling sick again. And get something heathy to eat.’ Pike placed the baby in the crib, as the door flushed closed behind the doctor.

He sat down next to Kirk, and placed a hand on top of Kirk’s. ‘I love you,’ Pike said out of the blue.

Kirk didn’t know what to say to that.

‘Eh, okay.’ He immediately regretted it, why did he always say the wrong things? But Pike apparently hadn’t expected a rebuttal.

Pike gave him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Do you want me to help move the baby to your quarters? I can assign you a full-time maternity nurse as long as you recover.’ No, that was definitely not what he wanted, he wanted to stay here.

Kirk said with a weak voice: ‘Can’t we stay with you?’ Pike had just told him that he loved him, so why was he so eager to throw them out?

He had even believed that Pike would want to be involved in their son’s life. Now he felt uncertain about that too.

Pike looked at him analysing what Kirk was asking.

‘There is nothing I want more than for you to stay, both of you, as long as you want,’ he finally said quietly like he didn’t really believe the question. ‘Christopher,’ Kirk said and moved to get their son. ‘I love you too, you know.’

Kirk carefully lifted the infant out of the crib, while he supported the head.

Pike smiled back at him. Hopefully, it would take some time before they began to argue again. Even if a part of him looked forward to it.

Pike’s lips brushed his.

‘I am getting bigger quarters for the three of us,’ he said. ‘Privilege of being the captain.’

And everything was going to be okay.

* * *

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. If you liked please leave kudos ❤️


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